future in you

think about it
you and me together
loving each other
aimin at forever

think about it

you and me together

loving each other babee

think about it

you and me together

loving each other

aimin at forever

think about it

you and me together

loving each other babee

now i don't want to scare

baby i just wanna say

the little things you do for me

and the way

your workin towards my last name

i see you babe

said i see you babe

i can see my future in you

no other girl for me will do

got me lookin forward to forever 
cus i can see 

think about it 
you and me together 
lovin each other 
aimin at forever 
think about it 
you and me together 
lovin each other babee 

think about it 
you and me together 
lovin each other 
aimin at forever 
think about it 
you and me together 
lovin each other babee 

now i dont wana rush nothin baby just kno 
when you say your ready to go we'll go 
two kids, a dog, the house and all 
tell me you see it babe 

MY GOOD BYE

yes! its a good bye..a happy goodbye to my blog or you all known for sure as "my world" yeah i am saying goodbye because i think i needed to, i posted a lot about my personal stuffs in life especially those that are sad, and i don't think it has a good effect to those who read it . some got affected, some judged me, too many people asked me about it, some made a gossip. and ashamed of admitting it, i realized i was so wrong putting here my problem which i really really wanted to keep to myself and to the person involved at it, and by posting some kind of sh*t like that makes it more visible to people and make an assumption. i knew its too late for me to get back all what I'd already been said..i just can't help myself feeling more guilty because too many people who are close to my heart asked about it for they've been too worried about me and i just ended up saying .."thanks for concern but i can't sat it though" and blah blah blah! and  told my heart aches and doesn't accepted any of their kind heart to help..

but this would not be the end of me sharing my story, but i need to get a new place, a new world for me, i need to build a new me, a new Queenie so that i could move on, and all of us could move on..

i would still update those exciting and happy moments of my daily life, and i would still say what i really feel, but maybe i won't be so specific with it, especially when it is something like dramas.. but for now this is what i say i good farewell to my dearest dearest diary, but i have to leave you for good, visiting,seeing you brings back the old memories, often were those sad!

and ..don't worry something new is coming, something new about me! more fierce and jolly ..just wait =)

but for now thanks and i hope you enjoy your stay =)

I AM BLIND

 I AM BLIND BY.. .??

hey guys!nothing new about me, neither of my day..well there a lots about me today but, i don't have this excitement to tell tonight..i was a kind of paranoid..maybe of too much thinking, i don't even know what's really bothering me.no one's giving me a reason to have some trouble in mind but..ohh i was having trouble finding peacefulness inside of it.i felt so dumped!felt so alone..i felt so embarrassed, i was trying but when i get the response, promise,, it makes me feel more and more sad, i don't know why..but i was pretentious these past few days..pretended to be happy, to be interested, to laughed when somebody laughs..how is it going to end? i don't know for sure..maybe until i get the right response, the right answer, the right word..which i could never forced to be asked to say to me.

i was blinded by the light..could see in the dark..
i hate seeing sun rises..i hate afternoon..
i just love seeing sunset..i love moonlight..breaking dawn..it makes me feel at peace, no worries, nothing to mind but myself and what would i do to my selfish night time..
hard to distinguish anger from fear..hard to determined sadness to doubtfulness ...
hard to know if i am right..hard to know if your being pretentious just like me, but unlikely how you use pretending to mine..
i was clearly in doubt..hard to imagine future..hard to get there if you never heard of it.
i used to think every single day of my life..but today was something i want to forget tomorrow.
something i want to never be in my thoughts...
something i would die for just to save myself from pain..from hurts..
don't listen, if you don't want to, don't read if you don't loved to, just try to feel deep within the heart and would already be known...
if you love, i love, if you hold on, i hold on. if you promise then i believe. if you're happy then i will be. if you change your mind then good bye. if you hate me then ill die..metaphorically these are my thoughts...
i don't know exactly what to say, i was just..too complicated to understand..too much paranoia is within me..
insecurity is not much..untrusted might be..
tomorrow is another day,,another f*cking day to live being miserable..not literally but..heartfully..