I AM BLIND

 I AM BLIND BY.. .??

hey guys!nothing new about me, neither of my day..well there a lots about me today but, i don't have this excitement to tell tonight..i was a kind of paranoid..maybe of too much thinking, i don't even know what's really bothering me.no one's giving me a reason to have some trouble in mind but..ohh i was having trouble finding peacefulness inside of it.i felt so dumped!felt so alone..i felt so embarrassed, i was trying but when i get the response, promise,, it makes me feel more and more sad, i don't know why..but i was pretentious these past few days..pretended to be happy, to be interested, to laughed when somebody laughs..how is it going to end? i don't know for sure..maybe until i get the right response, the right answer, the right word..which i could never forced to be asked to say to me.

i was blinded by the light..could see in the dark..
i hate seeing sun rises..i hate afternoon..
i just love seeing sunset..i love moonlight..breaking dawn..it makes me feel at peace, no worries, nothing to mind but myself and what would i do to my selfish night time..
hard to distinguish anger from fear..hard to determined sadness to doubtfulness ...
hard to know if i am right..hard to know if your being pretentious just like me, but unlikely how you use pretending to mine..
i was clearly in doubt..hard to imagine future..hard to get there if you never heard of it.
i used to think every single day of my life..but today was something i want to forget tomorrow.
something i want to never be in my thoughts...
something i would die for just to save myself from pain..from hurts..
don't listen, if you don't want to, don't read if you don't loved to, just try to feel deep within the heart and would already be known...
if you love, i love, if you hold on, i hold on. if you promise then i believe. if you're happy then i will be. if you change your mind then good bye. if you hate me then ill die..metaphorically these are my thoughts...
i don't know exactly what to say, i was just..too complicated to understand..too much paranoia is within me..
insecurity is not much..untrusted might be..
tomorrow is another day,,another f*cking day to live being miserable..not literally but..heartfully..