tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17266020655568688742024-03-05T03:49:08.659-08:00Her-Dainty-MémoireHI lovelies! I am Queenie and I am 23. I love to share precious memories, ideas, life experiences, life and love lessons basically and originally from my years of existence. I have passion for photography but I am no PRO. Dreaming to have my clothing and cosmetics business some day soon haha! I am fond of classic musics, vintage staples and foodies. For more, I wish you to visit my blog entries :) God Bless to everyone!queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comBlogger172125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-21159643107111738892021-02-22T15:01:00.001-08:002021-02-22T15:01:35.008-08:00Tuesday.Tessa<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgirUe4ZsiOi888pE5ruDkUu06HEG8qsUfJm0xgp1RcpemH15qjwyxWeposby0xVnWGQOrJ-gsAgraLPwegCnOKohQehodtIKenJ-uXGRMf9uJ5gmfVej7UaRkSHG5wZ5JscM_kFP7FRr2q/s960/135851309_4051310834897848_316966729434735905_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="536" height="497" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgirUe4ZsiOi888pE5ruDkUu06HEG8qsUfJm0xgp1RcpemH15qjwyxWeposby0xVnWGQOrJ-gsAgraLPwegCnOKohQehodtIKenJ-uXGRMf9uJ5gmfVej7UaRkSHG5wZ5JscM_kFP7FRr2q/w278-h497/135851309_4051310834897848_316966729434735905_n.jpg" width="278" /></a></div><br />My kids are growing up so fast. Specially Tessa. I had this feeling of fear just very recently about how fast she is becoming a young lady. Her likes and dislikes, what she plays, what music she prefers, what movies and shows she wants to watch. She is even asking about the concept of courting, crush, love, boyfriend and girlfriend, marriage, family, being parents. She mostly ask us about how it is to be a parent. She is maturing in a warp speed. And she could definitely compare now what she sees in the shows to the reality of life.<div><br /></div><div>She know that our house is small and other houses of people are big. She knows we are not rich, but she's okay with it because as she said She has everything that she love and need. She knows that we earn for a living 5 days a week for a very long hours sitting in front of the computer. She knows that she needs to help take care of her sibling while mommy and daddy works. She knows she needs to make it easy for mommy and daddy if she is obedient. She knows, she tells. Tessa is a very conversant kid. Even her teacher when she was in nursey says Tessa was a little more talkative and sometimes teacher was distracted because she kept talking about things she has and her family. Sometimes too private that her teacher needed to cut her off the conversation with other kids. </div><div><br /></div><div>I believe that Tessa's ability to converse what she has in mind definitely reflects how crazy her imagination is. I could just imagine all the neurons in her head. One thing I wouldn't do is to discourage her to think the way she think. She just need guidance and someone to correct wrong thoughts she may have. She is a little thinker. She is very curious of life itself. I would love to fill it in beautiful things and yet I also want it to be true and real.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tessa is Tessa. She may not be the best in the class, but I know she is one of the best. She may not be the most cheerful kid, but I know she is one of the cheerful ones. She may not be the most friendly, but I know she love her friends. I have a very loving, very sweet, kind daughter. I lover her so.</div><div><br /></div><div>More about her soon...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-49397836944835307442021-02-21T14:53:00.001-08:002021-02-22T14:40:04.407-08:00Monday of February 2021<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_HcN7n7ufimJ2RvLCaCUZvDgpgCNK4PH2IX9qr8xCvbT0jQ4BTMxXqz4CzpTNHiyiZ-ucmYM_NgfuW44iLECc9HuLISVSgy9K9tPE2XEw6yCmo0M3pZarK6lpH_3wvEAmRZ5G7s4mKqx6/s480/153200605_1182195928905324_8549032005086049815_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="271" data-original-width="480" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_HcN7n7ufimJ2RvLCaCUZvDgpgCNK4PH2IX9qr8xCvbT0jQ4BTMxXqz4CzpTNHiyiZ-ucmYM_NgfuW44iLECc9HuLISVSgy9K9tPE2XEw6yCmo0M3pZarK6lpH_3wvEAmRZ5G7s4mKqx6/w530-h299/153200605_1182195928905324_8549032005086049815_n.jpg" width="530" /></a></div><br />Woke up this today at around 5 in the morning and I couldn't go back to sleep. I don't know what keeps me awake very early lately than usual. Maybe work? I usually wake up at around 6:30am-7:am but definitely, something changed in the course of maybe just a month that also changed my sleeping hour pattern. The usual one. And all I could think of was the project has already started that is taking so much of my mind nowadays. Add to that is my daughter's morning online class and a lot of time to accommodate her homework.<p></p><p>This has been my dream all along, to be with my family every step of the way. To witness what they do every single seconds of their lives, to be able to cook and eat with them breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I have dreamt of serving them by preparing them meals, cleaning up their mess, helping them cope up with their personal shortcomings. I wished and prayed so hard to God to let me have a work that could be done at home, and he did answer that, maybe not in the most desirable way but he gave this shot to me after all. </p><p>But I think, along the way, I am blowing it all up. What I thought would make my life easier, what would make it better, happier and less stressful is to have it done my way. God gave me the taste of having it all the way I would have wanted it and now I'm here, still questioning why it seems to be so hard coping up in the days even if it takes place the way you have prayed it to be?</p><p>Today is Monday, it is very early in the morning. It is still a quiet time, I don't have to rush to prepare heading to office. I don't have to get weary of the traffic jam, of long line in the terminal, I could sip my coffee in no rush, I could have my me time even though I was sleep deprived. I am sleepless today, but I have me time, I have slow time, I have peaceful time. I should be so happy and giddy and grateful. But I am not, I guess it has to do with my resentment with my job that has been there all along. It wasn't anymore the life itself. It is not about my boss, it is not because that I am not so good at it. It is not about not wanting every inch of these blessings that I have in front of me. It is about me not wanting where I am right now in my job. I want to breathe new opportunities, new colleagues. Or so I thought. </p><p>Yeah, I thought I just didn't like my job, like I thought all the work from home stuff is not what I really wanted after all, like me not wanting to wake up very early in the morning to tend to my daughter's online class errands. Like me not wanting to stay longer hours taking care for my toddler. Like me not wanting my husband touch me or talk to me and gets very angry when he don't show interest in me anymore.</p><p>Yeah, I have what I have prayed for, but I am all the same mindset. I am all the same emotions. I am all the same ungrateful little rot! So maybe it just really have to be me admitting that what I really want is this:</p><p>1. That I could just choose between a career and being a housewife </p><p>2. For my husband to level up at his career ladder and compensate even higher so that I could do the number one with bravery and without pang of guilt and worry and fear of the future</p><p>3. To be able to freely choose of what we really wanted for our lives as family</p><p>It may sound simple, but it isn't. I am tied with all these responsibilities with which I have in no way will be able to get out, not just yet. </p><p>Responsibilities out of love. Obligations out of love. Sacrifices out of love. Commitment out of love. Not having the life that you wanted out of love.</p><p>Out of love we do things. Out of love we accept and embrace brokenness. Out of love we stay even if its hard and ugly at times. Out of love we are surviving, striving, thriving. Out of love we love. We care. Out of love we cry, then out of love we wipe away those tears and still stand up and continue doing all over again out of love.</p><p>We love, that is why we don't have everything our way. We love that is why turmoil in life has been bearable though it pains us a lot. We love that is why we are coping up. We love that is why we choose to live this life, because our real joy, our real happiness, is to see our family, our loved ones happy. To see them sleeping peacefully and waking up cheerfully. Our happiness does not lie with the things we do and not with the things we want, it lies with people we love. </p><p>We conquer all because of love. Because love conquers all. I know redundant, but that is life, we may be living it up side down, high and low, side by side, but we fall the same way. We fall in love.</p><p>And my family is worth falling million of times, I guess. So maybe. For now, I would still, keep falling.</p><p>***********************************************************************************</p><p>Picture above took place last Christmas. I noticed, we don't take as much photos as before. Nothing bad, just another change. Noticed how I look awful, unprepared and chubby in most of my pictures lately, not bad I guess, just another change. Another change here and there. And then I wake up one day, feeling a different person altogether. What a word FAMILY could change a person :)</p>queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-19637870651519989182019-02-12T00:58:00.001-08:002019-02-12T01:07:12.070-08:00ACCEPTANCE STAGEI think I am at "acceptance stage" right now. I woke up last Sunday feeling refreshed and very accepting of the morning haggle. I still have my bouts of habitual attitude like getting frustrated in the morning for the fast paced routine. Still shouting and scolding here and there when things and people are getting in my way. And yet, my heart felt rested for two days. I still experience lazy mornings. Still not committed to what I do for a living. Still not getting the hang of it but I have already accepted that life is just the way it has to be for me. I'm pretty sure that something last year had triggered my depression. I became disappointed, hopeless, ungrateful, and I felt like, I'm a failure. I became insecured of few people I look up to.<br />
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This is why I am writing this right now. Because I feel grateful today. Not totally happy and joyful but at least, I feel hopes is up in the air! I don't want to spoil the feeling, I just want to savor the peace of mind and rested heart for now. I think, I have lost something intangible that triggered my depression. From anger, to blame, to bargaining, to depression, and now, I think I am in the last stage of loss, the acceptance. It's a very unusual but very familiar feeling that just happened to me twice so I know how unique it is. I wouldn't miss the signs! Maybe this will be the right time to put myself together. Create new dreams. Re-write my goals. Re-do my plans. And look forward to the blessings of tomorrow.<br />
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I cannot thank God enough for not leaving my side even though I almost gave up my faith because for me, I need to see and feel his help tangibly before I know he is helping me. This is one of the worse part of my attitude, where it is so hard for me to trust something or someone to make me feel better and to make me feel secured, it is so hard to convince me.<br />
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I am not sure though if sharing the possible reasons of my triggered depression will be a good idea, but in general, it goes like this I guess.<br />
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I was overwhelmed by the fact that I got pregnant last year. We moved out to our new apartment and there were so many chaotic errands that have happened. I was so happy for my daughter's rank 1 in school, and I announced it to my loved ones but one of them was a bit insensitive to burst my bubble by sending me a news about someone just so I would be aware of this person's current state of life. I mean, of all the time to bring it up as a topic why choose the moment I was celebrating my daughter's achievement? I was hurt, offended and insulted and this person didn't know that. I just couldn't help myself to feel, that that person broke the news on purpose. Purpose of really bursting my happy bubbles. I felt that some people, even your loved ones, is not genuinely happy for your little success. Two news has surprised me last December, and the fact that this has been linked to me and my husband was just too much for me to handle . My husband wasn't even aware I was going through a lot of trouble because of the news. I wasn't resenting the news, I just felt that my life story is so different and their lives stories were so alike and I also would have wanted same thing for me. But I refused to admit it, and it was just there, aching in my heart, filling all the space in my mind, and I couldn't get out, hence, the laziness, the depression, the hopelessness I went through.<br />
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Today, is actually a brand new day. And I think, and feel, and I am hoping and praying that this is the time to start a new! In life, there will always be a chance to move on, an opportunity to grab, a day to begin all over again. and for me this is the day :)queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-80635273073541667312019-02-08T00:40:00.000-08:002019-02-08T00:40:30.479-08:00Who's with you in the Morning?This thought has been my wondering question since I was in College. My teenage years had been my loneliest years as I've always struggled to believe that everybody in the world is with me beginning the morning dawn.<br />
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It all began when I started internship for hospitals and we were assigned to a morning shift, usually 6: am to 2: pm. I had to wake up at 3:30 am, and mostly, I would wake up alone. Nobody was there for me because my family were still sleeping. No one dare to wake up to keep me company. To prepare breakfast for me. To make sure I headed off safe. I'd been alone since then. I tried to convince myself that I was not alone in this struggle. That many were also awake and alone like me. But, whenever I would look at the neighbors with lights already turned on, the elders, the parents were awake for their kids. And I hate to admit, I envy them. How I wish my mom would have exerted more effort when I was younger. I remember her waking up in the morning when I was a preschooler to elementary years. But when I was in high-school, I've already felt the changes in my mother. There was no consistency in accompanying us in the morning. This gave me the feeling of lonely morning ride.<br />
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When I got married, at first everything was what I have been dreaming of. My husband and I, would always wake up the same time. Our morning routine was fun. I have someone who prepare breakfast with and for me. I have someone to talk to before leaving the house. And most importantly, I have someone who heads off the house. At last! I am not alone! Was not alone..<br />
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Came having our first born child. A lot has changed. But the first and 2nd year was not about being alone. We lived with my husband's parents and her mom accompanied me every step of the way. Until one day, we needed to move out and had our own place. Since then, life for me slowly got back to what it used to be. I am back to where I was younger.. I was mostly, alone in the morning.<br />
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My husband work shift was at midnight, mine is a morning shift. I have to wake up alone in the morning to start with the day. I have to prepare for work all alone. After myself, that's the only time I have to wake up my husband and daughter. My first thought though was, since they would still be part of my day to day routine, I wouldn't have to feel alone or lonely. But I was wrong. I feel lonely. I think, I am lonelier than when I was younger. Every morning, after me being alone for myself preparation, morning haggle with husband and daughter who also started going to school is a daily chaos. I have time to do the daily routine for them, but not with them. No morning deep talks anymore. No sweet breakfast anymore. Everyday is always fast. Everyday is a struggle. Everyday is a stress and a lot of shouts and frustrations. I have my quiet nights though, and usually alone. I have my daughter with me, we play, we talk, we do things together, but I just feel emptier as the nights passed.<br />
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Since then, my body feels fatigued, sluggish and drained. I feel like, I don't have the appetite for life. For what's in store for me in the future. I struggle to move. I feel the most lazy person and it's been like this for 2 years now.<br />
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My morning is lonely. I feel alone. I feel empty. Even with the physical presence of my family, everything is a fog. I always asks myself if other people is also struggling like this. If they are anxious to wake up in the morning alone. Because I am.queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-55057633682679781492018-12-26T00:00:00.000-08:002018-12-26T00:00:50.679-08:00Pregnancy Blues Part 2I am on my 3rd month of pregnancy now. I don't feel better, but it isn't as bad as it was from last 2 months of pregnancy. This is the first Christmas and New Year Holidays that I wanted to end quickly so I can reach the 4th month already. I am hoping I am not one of those who have a hard time through out the 9th month of pregnancy.<br />
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I still have my pregnancy blues, but it is manageable now, I guess. Less vomiting have done a lot in my mood. I am trying to act normal when people are around but I still have my introvert side more dominant on this phase of pregnancy. I am glad that there were less invites for Christmas parties and reunions as I really can't force myself to socialize so much.<br />
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I am at work now. I just forced myself since I don't have leave credits anymore, knowing that holiday hang over won't make the office busy and toxic. But I am so bored. I feel like time wasted here would have been a time gained spending with loved ones. Yet, who can complain? This is ADULTING! Responsibilities, commitments, accountability and integrity, traits which we promised our employer so we could be employed. These are also the traits we want our children to grow up with. And so I need to be a role model. I need to show how it is done. I cannot preach what I cannot practice.<br />
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So what else can I say? Oh, yes! We will be celebrating the New year holidays with my relatives at mom side in Laguna. I forced myself to believe that a new ambiance and reuniting with few,closed relatives would make me feel better. And at the very least, I don't have to do the grocery shopping and the cooking. Just a financial contribution will do! Road trips were also doing wonders with my pregnancy blues so it would be a nice short getaway for me and for my family.<br />
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I am also missing already the old me. The girl who's excited for holidays, the girl who's open to tireless shopping and Christmas preparation and sleepless nights for chitchat and movie marathon without feeling so exhausted and sick right after. I miss the girl who loves waking up in the morning alone because she wants to enjoy her cup of coffee without distractions. I miss the girl who's always have food cravings and can eat anything at anytime of the day without feeling sick afterwards. I just miss how it was when my body is at its normal state. The girl who is always happy. I know this pregnancy blues will soon end. I just can't wait for that day!<br />
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I've been complaining for 3 months now, and to be honest, I still can't enjoy my pregnancy journey. Physical pain and discomfort can really take a toll on my emotions and mental state. All I pray now is for God to give me strength, give me more endurance, and to see the positive side in this situation. I pray for more patience and understanding of the pain I feel everyday since I found out I am pregnant. I pray too that the people around me, who wants the best for me and the people who are trying to help will have more patience and understanding too of my situation. Please forgive me Lord for my impatient behavior, forgive me for the bad things I have said when I feel discomfort. Please forgive me for my hopelessness. I know this things will pass. And at the end of all these challenges, I would witness a blessings that is on the way. Truly you are a God of greater deal! You want what's best for us but you also want us to learn by experiencing all the process. Thank you for a glimpse of hope and positivism today. More to come please!queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-87298574334458660552018-12-25T22:42:00.001-08:002018-12-25T22:42:47.503-08:00Pregnancy BLuesMy life has its up side down, I don't know where to start whenever I wanted to talk about life. But I know, I just got to do it to have a quiet and peaceful mind. I'm going wild and crazy, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is so hard to define what I feel in one word, but I will try. I'm going to use the word "ambivalent" which is a medical term for emotional hype of a pregnant woman. I feel contented, I am looking forward to what is in store for me next year, I am excited for the 2nd baby on the way, but, but, I am worried, anxious, scared. Even so, I am exhausted, restless, tired. So many responsibilities, so many errands that needs to be done. There is so much in my plate and I don' t know what to do first. I am suffocated by my mind running wild 24/7.<br />
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As I type this post, I feel all the physical discomfort of my pregnancy. Nausea, vomiting, dizziness, heartburn/acid reflux, back-pain. These physical discomfort have been leading me to depression sometimes. Feeling all the discomforts while doing all the house hold chores, and working in the office is one hell of a ride. And when people say "its okay", its a normal phase of pregnancy", you will get through it soon" I just really want to punch them in the face. Like yeah, let's see if its okay, and if its normal and if you can patiently wait while painfully experiencing all these and you cannot even exempt yourself from your responsibilities as a wife, a mother and a worker.<br />
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I become very anti social. People around me just irritates me so much! All I want is my husband and my daughter.<br />
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I need more strength and patience to endure all these discomforts. I hope I can survive another month with all these symptoms. And I really do hope it will be done by 2nd trimester because I cannot take it anymore :(<br />
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<br />queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-5816719338990925702018-06-09T17:33:00.000-07:002018-06-09T17:33:06.770-07:00I Got Works To Do Just Yet"So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come." -PSALM 71:18<div>
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What are the things that I want to do and accomplish before my life will be taken away...<br />
1. Teach children ages 3-6 years old<br />
2. Be a fulltime mom and wife<br />
3. Be tessa's hands on teacher in her studies<br />
4. Have our own home<br />
5. Get a job in my desired salary, and hopefully near our home lest the number 2 won't work for me<br />
6. See my baby girl and maybe future babies graduate and start their own family and career lives<br />
7. Be a good supporter of my husband's dreams for his career<br />
8. Be a fulltime digital writer about life as a woman<br />
9. Be an advocate of importance of education to children<br />
10. Be a God's agent of wisdom <br />
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I don't know if these aligns God's purpose for me to fullfill. I don't know if all these are the things that God designed me to be. I am the kind of person who get upset and dissapointed when it doesn't go my way. I am very well sure God knows what I'm talking about. But knowing the God of holiness, of power, of authority, a God who saves, a God who gives grace, I know that whatever his will in my life, whether it makes me happy or it will be a cause of discomfort, I will trust the Lord to fullfill his purpose in my life because thats the only time I can say to myself, Lord, it is done. Your purpose, I fullfilled. I am ready to receive the eternal life with you. And only in that moment I will peacefully accept..my time has finished.<!--/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/share/clipdata_180610_082922_435.sdoc--></div>
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Reflections available from Thrive book by Darlene Sala et'al</div>
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The song Find us Faithful of Jon Mohr encourages us to be faithful for the sake of those who will follow after us.</div>
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Conversation with God from Thrive book by Darlene Sala et'al</div>
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What do you want me to do today Lord, to share Your greatness with someoje who is hurting? I'm listening...</div>
queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-33918688820607461552018-05-07T18:01:00.002-07:002018-05-07T19:20:17.499-07:00Rest and Peace (R.A.P)I made clear that its a R.A.P and not I in the middle<br />
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So as not to confuse the title.</div>
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I called off for work since yesterday because of certain reasons, yep not just 1,2 but more. I woke up feeling so low, and my body aches. In the afternoon, around 1 pm, after I assisted my little tot in her bath, a sound of something (ugong) disrupted my ears, and I thought it was coming from the outside, I thought a big truck with a machinery or whatsoever that makes an ugong sound parked nearby. But upon checking, there were no trucks nor anything that was making a weird noise until I realized, it was coming from inside my ear. I ignored it and just continued doing errands. But after I took a shower, I felt that my head was starting to feel heavy, I thought my migraine would attack so I laid down on bed and slept beside my little tot. Upon waking up after an hour nap, the ugong becomes stronger, my left ear,head and face feels heavier and i felt the pain in my skull and I knew it, my mgraine attacked, and worst, I think I just had my first bout of vertigo. I couldn't stand, walk and sit up for long period. I was having a hard time keeping my balance, it felt, I would fall or faint anytime so I just laid down on bed, praying and wishing it would go away. Almost 2 hours of laying down and my symptoms gets stronger and I think I was starting to experience nervous breakdown because I was short of breath and my extremities were shaking. I texted my husband already and asked for assistance right away. He sent off his parents to check on me and my daughter. I took my pain reliever meds and my mom in law massages my head down to my back and shoulder for almost an hour. Soon, the symptoms were starting to subside and my nervousness subsided as well. I didnt know what the heck happened to me. It was terrifying.</div>
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So I called off for work again today,though I am feeling better now, I don't want to compromise my situation as the ugong sound in my ears and difficulty keeping my balance are still present. Still laying down after I had my breakfast because just a bit of movement feels like Im gunna fall off the ground.</div>
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Being bed ridden gives me so much time to think, replay life, and analyse my life in general and in its particular. Since I wanted to take advantage of this time to do what I have been loving to do ever since, I browsed in my mini book shelf and tried to look for inspirational readings. But while trying to read it, I felt that God was trying to tell me to read something else, so I put down my book look at my bible app where there are also shared topics you can read depending on your daily mood,preference and need. I came across the topics about work, rest and peace..so it explains my blog post title.</div>
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Some of the passages and messages that took my attention are here, please scroll down:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgidQU0HTjM8C0GigzR3oDHALkSHhQFwSDrKtHW5hqdUJUh7IMo637MmrrPMChKrzuCCpkj27lRXhn4bR7HCG2zCx7Eiy7k3U8XnrdvvVtiv_d-G43B5qhhq84EFF06XJcZCY8U38x7DN2d/s1600/Screenshot_20180508-075015.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgidQU0HTjM8C0GigzR3oDHALkSHhQFwSDrKtHW5hqdUJUh7IMo637MmrrPMChKrzuCCpkj27lRXhn4bR7HCG2zCx7Eiy7k3U8XnrdvvVtiv_d-G43B5qhhq84EFF06XJcZCY8U38x7DN2d/s320/Screenshot_20180508-075015.png" width="180" /></a></div>
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You are at war with yourself. "Well I am."</div>
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You want something but you can't get it. "I guess we all have some guilty pleasures and desires."</div>
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Don't you know that to be friend with the world is to hate God? "Now that makes it more frigthening isn't it?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS24Z1bcOizO7p0ts_QS2_2pZOAPvXUuZ8ilOwUeKn4w4v1t3-nGqz_64XXZmZBhcO7tmqbV4eZNTfClUAQ6GM0-jofx_vUXxqZb5Y7KEPz0Q9_gm08jGjo2Gq_JEu3_1f_JFSw_Rq-oQs/s1600/Screenshot_20180508-075023.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS24Z1bcOizO7p0ts_QS2_2pZOAPvXUuZ8ilOwUeKn4w4v1t3-nGqz_64XXZmZBhcO7tmqbV4eZNTfClUAQ6GM0-jofx_vUXxqZb5Y7KEPz0Q9_gm08jGjo2Gq_JEu3_1f_JFSw_Rq-oQs/s320/Screenshot_20180508-075023.png" width="180" /></a></div>
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Make your hearts pure, you who can't make up your minds. "Well I guess I really am not making up my mind in so many things. I don't think I'm alone with this dilemma of decision making."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjns8FSnr0DXMUcw3pF8y62m7EVoVXnXEi6zQdcMG2SN63i2en8N4XTVGDSUE31iBse3D-UyuU9evS4vZ30AW3_KzgeR-W7duSxN7nEWM3tI2ueuQzw3lZa4dhOg332sQ8vX0WrN89nLm8o/s1600/Screenshot_20180508-075238.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjns8FSnr0DXMUcw3pF8y62m7EVoVXnXEi6zQdcMG2SN63i2en8N4XTVGDSUE31iBse3D-UyuU9evS4vZ30AW3_KzgeR-W7duSxN7nEWM3tI2ueuQzw3lZa4dhOg332sQ8vX0WrN89nLm8o/s320/Screenshot_20180508-075238.png" width="180" /></a></div>
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God see what is in my heart. "So he knows I am happy but not feeling fullfilled. That I am content but not fully grasping what's in my heart.</div>
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Help me live in the way that is always right. "But you know, I'm so stubborn because when I hear him, I don't listen, when he seek for me, I hide when he wants talk to me, I blocked him with wordly distractions. You see? I am too tired to even grow relationship with him."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRsa7c71VITmwmf-GuzsCKtzCZVwHPAQ_MW64j_CDqHQ-wMeR4yzIVzHVHGNiojPmmozou2w2Z-LqNZoPxcfAHj3m55lDdEY-IhqGKCBtg7MwuFIRJ159pv1DhPi6SnQV5As60EU4-q7kF/s1600/Screenshot_20180508-075436.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRsa7c71VITmwmf-GuzsCKtzCZVwHPAQ_MW64j_CDqHQ-wMeR4yzIVzHVHGNiojPmmozou2w2Z-LqNZoPxcfAHj3m55lDdEY-IhqGKCBtg7MwuFIRJ159pv1DhPi6SnQV5As60EU4-q7kF/s320/Screenshot_20180508-075436.png" width="180" /></a></div>
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Work-life balance, one always prevails over another. "Why couldn't I agree more?"</div>
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In Jesus time there was no such thing as balance, only rythyms of work, rest and celebration. All centered in loving God and others. "So I wonder why people ages ago leaves hundreds of years old! I wish I have lived my life with my family on Jesus time!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMeVqNC3_rt4TGY820jPHer-tCJvMLFc_i2K3VkSZXr3Bfuh1xzkKPNn6t4M0XbAzl45TYn7YSYeCixasYfYVS17v9STB7KQXBRtvgPomjGMTZBdvN4fKNBPw2OpFCWKKaI9GGhw79AFkn/s1600/Screenshot_20180508-075713.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMeVqNC3_rt4TGY820jPHer-tCJvMLFc_i2K3VkSZXr3Bfuh1xzkKPNn6t4M0XbAzl45TYn7YSYeCixasYfYVS17v9STB7KQXBRtvgPomjGMTZBdvN4fKNBPw2OpFCWKKaI9GGhw79AFkn/s320/Screenshot_20180508-075713.png" width="180" /></a></div>
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"Social pressure is also a blame here I suppose."</div>
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Rest and Repentance. "Oh! That's all I need this time!</div>
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God's approval of us is enough, how I wish this was easy and true to me." I struggle so much in pleasing everybody, from my parents, siblings, husband, daughter,friends, to bosses and colleagues.</div>
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If you are waiting for my inspirational parting words, well dear; I'm very sorry, I don't have that for this post right now. You see, I am struggling with my health, mental,emotional and spiritual wellness. I don't know what to do yet, or how to minimize what causes my frustrations and stresses. I am struggling to keep up with the demand of work from my professional as well as personal life. From always praying, devoting and keeping a daily journal of my life to just let the day unfold and take a rest when all demands are finished. Yet, I don't feel fullfilled. I feel stuck. I feel stagnant. I don't see progress. I know I'm still blessed among the rest, but being blessed is far different from being grateful. For anyone who will be able to read this because I guess I lose my readers many years ago already. Maybe you're a God sent to be a catalyst, or more likely my guardian angel to help me surpass this dilemma. I will keep on fighting, because you know, I'm a wife and a mother, their strength and motivation in life also comes from what they see in me. So imagine how hard I am keeping all these emotions to myself. Oh yes, you can call me "a great pretender". Trying to keep everything put together, but I myself is so close to collapsing. But don't worry, I am far from suicidal intentions..maybe just merely sad and tired in the cycle of life and I just really need to breathe out..but you know what's stopping me? BILLS!!! </div>
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So get off that bed and keep grinding! As for me, I will savor this moment before I go back zombie again to my usual, daily grind. Yeah we are zombies trying to make life by working hard that will soon kill us just to pay bills. My goodness this post sounds like I am some kind of a cult. 😄</div>
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Will make it up to you guys. I guess my estrogen level is at its cray cray level right now. Lets blame the hormones shall we? </div>
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I wish and pray that we all find the way to fullfillness by seeking God first in all that we do. And as for me, I will walk the talk.. .please let us help each other up!</div>
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queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-34883045348154486412018-04-01T23:51:00.001-07:002018-04-01T23:51:37.600-07:007 Reasons I Beat Monday BluesI've been meaning to change this blog into something more motherly, such as, letters to my daughter, motherhood journey, wife, mom, career life, and etc. But never had anything done and had never been so consistent!<br />
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This time, I just want to go back in random blogging and have it posted randomly, without any schedules and maybe from there, a brand new idea will strike and it may be a start of something that is really meant for sharing!<br />
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I hope so! So for now, I will start with a thought in mind this morning.<br />
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As very usual for me, I woke up today at 5 in the morning and spent 30 minutes wide awake staring at a ceiling thinking, how dreadful Mondays are to me. I wish I could skip this day altogether, or how I wish Mondays are exempted from Morning grind and let corporate workers get by the office as flexible as they could get because it is.. . Monday! The most dreaded day to majority of us Filipino. As for a working mom like me, I hate Mondays because, I have this so called "separation anxiety" from my daughter which I thought would be gone by now as she turned 3 years old! But no, the anxiety is still lingering nowadays and I'm really having a hard time fighting it specially during Monday.<br />
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That's why I did a "self talked" today on why I'm still doing this "working mom" thingy.<br />
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So here it goes, reasons I persist in my working career:<br />
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1. First is I do this for my little girl. Because I want to give her everything, not just enough. But all that I could give without compromising our finances.<br />
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2. I want to be a good example of persistence, perseverance, and hard work especially now that she will be enrolled to school this year. I want her to see how her mom and dad do it. We want her to have same things we could empathized with together. I don't want her to feel alone on her journey for a five long days of school, us at work. At least we could share this through evening conversation while having dinner! I want Tessa to see in me that there's more to life if she strives for it, that getting married, having children shouldn't be a hindrance from achieving so much! That she can be whatever she wants to become and that there is no one or nothing to stop her.<br />
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3. I want to hone her personality by doing rather than telling what and how to do it.<br />
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4. I want to help my husband build our dreams and plans together.<br />
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5. I want to help my parents (same with my husband's parents) when they grow old and decides to retire. Although I know they have their pensions and all. You can tell, I am really a "worrier" kind of person. I worry almost about everything! haha!<br />
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6. I want financial security and stability.<br />
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7. I want career and financial growth because I have bigger plans for my family's future!<br />
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I really wanted to list at least ten, but these were the only things I have thought so far before I left the house at 6 30 am!<br />
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I encourage women out there to also list down reasons on why you keep on doing what you do. We have to find purpose in whatever we do especially if it consume so much of our time and energy. Because if we do things without a purpose, our hardships wouldn't be worth it.<br />
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I hope your are having a good Monday relationship! :Dqueeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-71271328726040886172017-06-22T02:11:00.001-07:002017-06-22T17:03:20.249-07:00Boredom Strikes!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY3-DwFHnVqnR_ETg3WYmb_Ox1rTFJT-kRKL2bBMT_C2bZNYafSxLerNwpIghm5bjuaJraImNw796UxaE74V2x0_9aoMPJxYzQzaZQYNaM95_rD4j_cMYlGChE3nBq9sh-QF590O23RPvD/s1600/364833.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY3-DwFHnVqnR_ETg3WYmb_Ox1rTFJT-kRKL2bBMT_C2bZNYafSxLerNwpIghm5bjuaJraImNw796UxaE74V2x0_9aoMPJxYzQzaZQYNaM95_rD4j_cMYlGChE3nBq9sh-QF590O23RPvD/s640/364833.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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1. Is boredom can be linked to depression and demotivated individual?<br />
2. Is boredom can be linked to euphoria and well motivated individual?<br />
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May be number one is "yes" for some, but "no" for others, and vice versa.<br />
Well for me, it depends on the foundation of one self, in terms of emotional, psychological, and spiritual strengths of a person.<br />
If a one person is use to feeling really low, upset, and gloomy most of the time, to the point that it becomes a habit to him, there is a big possibility that he would fall into number one kind of boredom.<br />
If on the other hand a person is feeling grateful, praying, reflecting, happy, then he would probably fall into number two kind of boredom.<br />
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As for me. I think I am a manic one haha! Kidding aside, many years ago, I was in a number one kind of boredom. I perceived boredom as a threat to my inner peace. I linked boredom as a symptom of my depression, or a symptom that I think, my instinct was telling me that some thing wasn't right. It was more evident when I was in a relationship that made me very insecure. When boredom strikes, I would automatically think that my ex boyfriend would be doing something that he must not do when in a relationship. So what I would do was to go all the way from where I am at the moment it strikes to where he was. Imagined what a hassle that could be for me? Or there were times when I would get bored and then I would think of so many sad and bad things so that I would cry. Imagine how worst I was coping up with boredom. And then there was this transition year in my life, when I was already single, a lot have changed and I guess, one day I just woke up and realized, I am a different person already. I enjoy so much moments when I am bored because that gives me lots of opportunities to read, to explore my blog (by the way, I customized the design of this blog hehe), I watched lots of movies and series of shows. And then there were moments that I go shopping, or even worst stays home and just do my own tutorial make up in front of a mirror and take a lot of selfie afterwards. See? I was really a different person after a break up haha! It continued up to my marriage, but until I gave birth to Tessa, my lovely daughter. I go back to becoming a number one kind of boredom, because Tessa's health have been compromised for two years! And that made me really depressed, sad, a worry wart, and a lot more definition of negative emotions. When I'm alone, I would automatically feel worried, and would write in my diary how insecure I was, how I hate life and a lot more more pitiful kind of thought provoking sadness. And then now, Tessa will turn three years old and her health is more stable now,and all the three of us (my husband, me, and tessa) already have our health cards that makes security and peace of mind in terms of our health and wellness. But these past weeks, I am both. There are times I am number one kind of boredom because I worry about my career ladder, or of our finances and of our expenses. Then one day, I would be the number two kind of boredom, who would be so sipag to do house chores because I am happy, or I would read a lot, play, sing and dance a lot with my daughter, serve and be so kind to my husband (haha) and calls for a food delivery a lot when I am so happy with my boredom (my euhporic boredom is makingme fat) :D<br />
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If you would ask me, why it was like that. Why there are kinds people, like me to be precised, who for a split seconds, can change attitude depends on a certain situation. It seems that I have no consistent attitude, where I could say I am authentic because I cope up the same way with different situations.<br />
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Others may have it easy and could just use boredom without so many hassle. Yet there are people like me again, who it takes a lot of energy and effort to cope up with such thing (called boredom). But if I would be asked for my opinion. I guess, its just a part of life and it does not mean anything deeper, unless we stay in a number one kind of boredom for consistently many years, up to now. It is not bad to ask for help, like counselling or join a group that have the same issues being faced. Support system such as closed trusted friend, closed trusted family member, husband who understands and is patient, a loving, sweet child would really help a lot to cope up. The number two kind of boredom for me, needs less of help or assistance because they see opportunities in moments of boredom. So let them be bored hehe! For number one kind of boredom, my advise maybe is, let's avoid criticism, and misjudging them as a self pity, anti social ones. They need support the most. They may not tell it directly to their loved ones, but maybe they just don't trust themselves so much to think that people might not be very understanding of their situation. It's not that they mistrust people around them, its just that, they don't trust themselves enough to think that somebody out there could help them. They are less confident, so they really need someone to boost them emotionally, in a positive way. We can of course pray for these people that we know are experiencing such situations. Lend a helping hand, kamustahin from time to time so that they will gain confidence in themselves that someone out there are very willing to listen, to help, and to be there in their dark moments. Let's be more compassionate in dealing with these people, because they need it the most.<br />
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Are you willing to be a person who can transform lives? Who can inspire and enable people to adopt to thing whether it's good or bad? Are you will to impact these people's (the number one kind of boredom) lives?<br />
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Then now is the best time to be that person to someone. As in now :)<br />
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">You must be compassionate, just as your father is compassionate. Luke 6:36</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">If we say we are his, we must follow the example of Christ. 1 John 2: 6</span></i>queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-32594701766168177882017-06-21T18:33:00.001-07:002017-06-22T17:16:06.450-07:00Move myself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo grabbed from Google</td></tr>
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Here I am, sitting on a chair, in an L shape table with the sound of my laptop's keyboard. Yes, I am typing in my blog! What a great feeling it is to regain energy in blogging. I never have been so true to my words of promises to relive my blog. I actually have listed down so much lists to blog. But nothing have been in good use and it has never been posted.<br />
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For whatever reason, I get to always procrastinate. Usually, I give more importance to sleep, slouching on a couch or a bed while browsing Facebook, IG and reading blogs as a source of inspiration. I also have stopped devoting time to read a Bible and write in my diary about what I learned from the Bible verses. I also seldom pray now. Well I do the informal praying in my mind, and usually when I need it so much, and also I just play Christian songs so I will get by a day. It's like its really good to do nothing for longer period of time, but that is, if you are using that nothingness to reflect on life. But if you are using it with unimportant things, then I guess you are just fooling yourself out and you really is not maximizing the time and resources that God has bestowed you with.<br />
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So as I am being influenced by the Bible application that I am currently using now, I decided that I have to move around more than what I have used to do. I have to clean the house more than I slouch on a bed or a couch. I have to read bible and I have to write in my diary more than I read blogs and listen to christian songs. I have to pray intentionally more than informally, like praying while I'm preparing for work, or eating breakfast or in a meeting. I have to devote a free time to be able to hear God's plan for my day (as well as for my life for that matter). I don't know why am I having a hard time choosing to move myself, though I know it will make much better outcome in my day and in my life in general.<br />
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If I am to plan now, maybe, since I have been writing, praying, and promising myself so many times in the past 2 years? It is now time to just plan one major step.. and that is to move myself from where I am now, to where I want to be. :) No promises,but to just act on it. No lists of plan, more on lists of accomplishments. I know I can make it by God's grace and wisdom. He will help me surpass my issues regarding procrastination. He will support my choice of moving myself. He will guide my journey. Because God is in action when he know you are doing things that will not just help you, but will also help the people around you, because God knows when you are in your proper ambition :)<br />
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I will keep on trying!. I will keep on fighting! Because God is good all the time. He is compassionate and he's will will always be done. I just have to make myself believe more than I used to believe before.<br />
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I pray today, that God will also touch your heart, as he touches mine in a deepest way possible in the past weeks. I pray that we will move ourselves to a greater good, to be able to be an inspiration, and a role model among people in the world. I pray that all of us Christians will be able to have the eagerness and perseverance to influence the lives of many so that this world will be a better place. :)<br />
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I thank you Oh, Lord Jesus Christ because you are good, you are merciful, you have compassion even to the most undeserving like me. You love us even in our dark and doubtful moments. I ask for your forgiveness in times I get angry of you. In times I feel like you are not in my side. In times when I feel that you are making things so hard for me, when in reality, I am making things hard for myself.<br />
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You are a God of power, and of authority. But you stayed merciful despite the humanities sinful desired and doing. Despite humanities taking for granted this earthly world you bestowed upon us. I now choose to be among people who contribute to goodness, and to contribute to Godly deeds to glorify and praise you.<br />
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Thank you Lord God for the brand new provision you have given me today. I will use it willingly as I change my life, lest I may impact change in the world. :)<br />
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Have a changing life for the greater good everyone!<br />
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<i><span style="color: #741b47;">Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5: 17 KJV</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #741b47;">I am crusified with Christ: nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2: 20 KJV</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #741b47;">All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigeth the spirits. Proverbs 16: 2</span></i><br />
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<br />queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-8032908126115181802017-03-24T02:22:00.002-07:002017-03-24T02:22:35.425-07:00Stand, don’t fight.<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
These seemingly simple words resonated with me after I read
it. These words are exactly what I must practice towards my husband as we
always look at things differently. We have different habits, different way to
think and to plan. And usually when we try to have an open conversation, it
would end up with a fight, an argument and a misunderstanding.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes the house tensed and somehow my mood affects how I treat
my daughter. I hate it when I end up fighting with Jp although he wasn’t really
into fighting. He just says things differently and he just wanted to be honest
on what he truly feels. But some days, I just feel that he’s attacking me with
my belief, and with the way I think.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would usually say, he is not respecting what I have in
mind, or what I just said, but it was actually me who was judgmental and couldn’t
stand him when he have a different perspective in terms of saving up money,
priorities at home and at work. What and when to buy stuff, about family
and relative relationships, and so on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess it rooted up on seeing the ordinary jp with his
flaws and all. It wasn't visible pre-marriage. It was all love, understanding
and acceptance. But when we got married, especially when tessa was born,
everything has changed! We discovered a lot that we don’t like in each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Annoyances such as, how the bathroom looks like after he
takes showers. How he is not putting in a bin his dirty laundry properly, how
he isn’t making the bed after he gets up considering he was the last who wakes
up. His non- initiative to do household chores when I don’t say or command him
to. And then he would feel bad when I nag because he did not do it on time (on
time I mean my personal deadline for him). He also annoys me whenever he would
make lambing but I don’t like the way he’s making it. And the list goes on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a lot to hate about my husband considering our 3
years of being married. What can come worse than these? What if we are in our
7, 10, 15 years of marriage? Are there more I do not know about him?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray today that God will cleanse my heart from so much
annoyance with my husband just because of his negative attributes. And to replace
it with love, care, patience and more accepting attitude. I pray that I will
count more the good traits which he possesses than the bad ones. I pray too that
I won’t get annoyed or irritated when he tries to communicate or share things
with me. I pray that I will see reasons why I love him and reasons to love him even
better! I know that I need to pray for us as we are going to be in the journey
of marriage forever. And since this is our fate, I want to choose happiness
over merely annoyances.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I love my family, I must love my man equally; our
daughter can see how we treat each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So my learning today is to stand for what I believe, but do
not fight for it. Instead, pray to God that we find understanding in the midst
of differences.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-30813772866626628362017-03-24T01:34:00.002-07:002017-03-24T01:34:41.036-07:00Relive you my blog<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">So I've been thinking on bringing back to life this so called online write
ups of mine. I know I've been promising myself to blog again
and to never put this in hibernation. But guess what?! I just broke a promise just
like when I promised to keep a daily journal and devotional writing! I don't know
when did I stop, but surely, when it stopped, my life started to have
uncertainties again. I began waking up, going to work, doing errands on
weekend, going to church with a blind heart. For first two months of 2017, I could feel
how my life has changed by just writing my simple life's stories and by praying every
morning to the Lord. Then when it all stopped.. darkness en-galloped me. I was
attracted to negative vibes such as, discouragement, quitting, </span><span style="font-size: 18px;">depression</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">, and unsure of what my worth really was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I was almost there, following the path to discover my purpose, and
then I stopped just like that. Why did I stop? I guess the perfect term for what happened was, "complacency". And it hits me badly. I was all happy, and bubbly. I almost had
a perfect life with my almost perfect, harmonious relationship with family. We almost had it all. And then I forgot to tell it to the most high. I forgot him
in the midst of prosperity and blessedness in my career and family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">When I already had what is seemed to be what I wanted and needed, I stopped calling on him. I thanked him everyday, but that was all it.
I don't talk to him anymore, I became lazy waking up in the morning to devote time
to communicate with him. To ready myself with a prayer. I forgot him all the
way while he was already giving me my dreams.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Aren't we all like these? We pray and pray and devote time to him
because we have dreams and aspiration in life? And when we got what we've been
wanting all our lives, we may not forget about him, but we forget devoting our
precious time for him just because we are so busy enjoying the blessings he
gives us. I am not in the position to lecture about blessings and devotions. But
I am confidently testifying about how God moved my life when I started praising
his name and glorifying him day by day. I found peace, love and certainty in his
arms. I was confident, I was so vibrant. Brave. And when I became lazy, everything were suddenly gone. I lost confidence, I lost braveness, I lost love,
I lost my faith, I lost all the positiveness that God blessed me with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Thanks to blogs of Ms. Rica Peralejo, Patty Laurel, and other
celebrities who speaks God's wisdom in their blog posts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I can also spread love by reliving this blog. A lot will relate,
especially the moms with career, and even the moms who stays home, and
also for the single moms. I won't be biased in my sharing, I promise. It will be
all about God and his love. Motherhood and its beauty. Life and its challenges.
And maybe about my family's travel, simple whereabouts, and a bit of my
kakikayan in make ups and clothes hehe!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I can't promise a everyday post. All I can offer is my weekend
where I can allot 1 to 2 hours of my time :) I feel released from a prison of
no writing! Had to suffer for years of the noise my mind was making everyday. I
mean there's a lot to share. But I always stop myself from sharing it. I guess
now I won't have excuses! It's a perfect gateway to freedom!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-20809244987125483242014-07-30T23:31:00.000-07:002014-08-04T01:34:31.543-07:00COMMITMENT #1<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since I cannot commit myself to blog on a daily basis, I
basically jot down my random thoughts in my journal and notepad on smartphone.
I missed blogging so much but there seem to be a thing that I want to do. I
want to change the course of my blog and what I post on it. Basically, I am fond of Christian blog posts now and wanting to re-create a blog that also
consist of God’s wisdom, teachings, and promises. I hope I can find time and
effort to start doing this this year. I will be a stay home mother starting on
September 26 since it would be the start of my 2 months maternity leave. I
think there will be a time in between that I can use to freely devote myself
into reading my bible, reflect on it, do my devotion and share it on my blog
and other social network sites. I am excited, yet nervous and scared since, I
am not a well versed kind of person particularly on connecting verses from old
and New Testament. I don’t know if I will inspire people, or it will cause
discrimination and criticism. Maybe I will need to read and study a lot first in
this regard so that I will be able to explain God’s wisdom perfectly without
being biased by my own opinions and belief. I want it to be purely about how he
proves to change someone’s life in humanity chooses to follow him and submit their
lives in him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a major problem though, it always gets the best of me
and that’s the reason I could not commit in writing a post regularly. I have this
very random mind, that I basically just want to write it out and then go to
another topic and then leave, and make another one. I have inconsistencies and
it usually hinders me to finish a thing or two in terms of blogging. Not a good
habit if I want to excel on this area right? I need more inspiration, and
motivation. I need guidelines on how to construct a good and inspiring blog
post so that readers will have a fun time reading them. I want a writing that
will give reader a constant reminder of my blog to inspire them on their daily
living.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am merely an imperfect human being. I am still finding my
way to get closer to God. I am still searching for that inner encouragement of
my spiritual being to submit wholly to our almighty. I am not the best
worshipper, nor am I the best Christian to disciple and evangelize other people
who need it. But I just want to be that kind of person, and I know God wants me
to be that kind of person too, I know that having to think this way is his way
of pushing me closer in his world of divinity and I know he will be by my side
all the way to reach the best of my maturity in Christian life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
So to give you an exact view of people and things that got
me pursuing writing inspirational and spiritual post for this blog, please see links below:<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.ricaperalejo.ph/-">RICA PERALEJO BLOG</a>
ms. rica peralejo bonifacio. Her life is very inspiring, and at some point, I
could relate on how she made her way into knowing Christ, although mine was not
as tragic as anyone would have think it is haha<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a href="http://www.josephbonifacio.com/-">JOSEPH BONIFACIO BLOG</a>
joseph bonifacio. ms rica’s husband and a pastor at victory ministry. I’ve been
reading his blog recently and amazed on how well educated he is and how he
integrates God’s wisdom in everyday hustles and bustles of life!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b>
<b><span style="background: white; color: #3b5998; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/NCencourager/posts/683397555048711?fref=nf">THE DAILY INSPIRATION</a></span></b>-status update on facebook that I am currently
following. It’s very motivational especially when you are too exhausted to
start a day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
HILLSONG ALBUM- Jp’s parents play it on in full blast every morning! And Jp and I got all the songs
downloaded on our personal smartphones <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
DAILY DEVOTIONALS APP- an application which have updated stories
and lessons with its corresponding bible verses you can ponder up on. Jp and I use
it every night before we sleep. We make bed time our schedule for couple’s
daily devotions and prayers, and we also have our individual devotions, which
is something we don’t really talk about with other people unless necessary
hehe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
SUNDAY SERVICE- Jp and I vowed to always attend Sunday service
because it’s the only perfect time we can give thanks to God completely along
with his whole family, and we also have time to catch up with our young couple’s
cell group.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
YOUNG COUPLE CELL GROUP- Although we don’t have regular time
to meet up outside the church to do more activities and bible studies with the
group, I still appreciate how this group have helped me and jp see how normal
our encounter of trials and challenges in marriage, and how the same those
encounter were to most of them. I’ve also witnessed here how prayers of other
people made more powerful to help someone struggling cope up and heal fast
spiritually and emotionally. I hope we can find perfect schedules so we can
bring back the once in a week catching up with the young couple clan! I will
pray for this!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
YOUNG ADULT STAFF- I was asked to join a young adult staff
along with my husband. I don’t know if I am capable of handling and sharing my
ideas to help better the community of young professionals, which was the first
cell group I’ve first had. This self-doubt that I experience comes from lack of
knowledge with the bible verses, lack of integration in the Christian ministry,
lack of necessary courses in which someone must accomplish before they could handle
such group, and my personal lack of God’s wisdom and maybe even lack of
application of those wisdom in my personal life. But I am praying that God will
change my heart and my mind so that I can fill it up with confidence and
conviction to make it!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-14256101990702311892014-07-03T01:20:00.002-07:002014-07-03T01:22:11.528-07:00LIFE IS CHANGINGhey yeah guys..it's been how long from the last time i had updated this blog? Well actually, there was a lot to share in my matters of life, but I just couldn't bring myself into it! I am very lazy to blog since I am addicted in manually writing on my personal diary and journal because there, I can freely doodle down everything, even the most private part of my beings that I find it more comforting and relaxing than blogging up! I am sorry for this selfishness though, I know I still have my part of making my readers happy with my updates. Maybe I am starting to experience that so called "taking in" phase of pregnancy, though as of my nurse's knowledge could happen right post delivery hehe! Taking in is when you think more about yourself. I've been in this phase for quite sometime now, and I am happy I am able to reflect on how my life is evolving from youngsters, to becoming a career woman, to becoming a wife, and know becoming a mother. There's so much to consider now. I have to think of three persons now, and that is composed of my husband, my baby, and myself. I need to know each individuals need, but foremost, I have to achieve everything that I need in order to give my 100% care and love that my husband and baby would need from me.<br />
<br />
I am on my 6 and a half months now, which means, I am 2 and half months away from my delivery! I am quite ambivalent! I'm feeling giddy, excited, happy, nervous, scared all at the same time hehe. Scared only because, its my first time to give birth on a baby and I can't imagine how my baby would make her way down in my very narrow womanhood (really, you know what i meant right?haha). I've been reading, and listing down every information I could get and thought useful when the moment of truth comes, so I will be ready with everything. I want to make sure that I would be dashing in the hospital just right when my baby is fully ready to come out, so that my O.B won't have reasons or excuses of long time laboring that will lead to a decision of C-section. And I think since everything on me is physically normal, and I am not a high risk pregnant, I still have my privilege to choose how I want my baby to be delivered right? So I'm choosing the natural way :). I really want to experience this phenomenon of pregnancy, and I know that having my baby delivered through normal spontaneous delivery will complete that magical experience especially of first time moms like me. I don't want to corrupt the most exciting experience a woman could have, just because we are scared or wants the convenience of getting through it easily. That is so not me. I guess we have our personal view on this one, but I found myself braving this once in a lifetime moment (or maybe twice or more for some :) ) in a woman's life :). I need to start it with great perseverance, big faith, bravery and right perspective to cultivate strong personality that I will need in raising my child :)queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-58794416029381771332014-05-30T01:57:00.002-07:002014-05-30T01:57:36.346-07:00YEAH-MOM AT WORKAnd.. yup! you heard it right, I am still working, and I am so embracing becoming a working mom. I think there's nothing selfish in it if you still want to pursue a career at the same time,managing your relationship with your husband and specially with your child, as long as you give ample time for them. I don't think moms who choose to pursue a career deserve a misjudgment of the community.<br />
<br />
We have our unique goal for the family. And mine, is to make sure we all have the freedom to do as we wish as long as its for the betterment of each of us as an individual. I also want to practice early on how to be proactive not only for my family, but also for the society. That way, I can impart these traits to my child so that she will learn how to influence people in positive ways. I want to influence my child to become industrious, so that she can influence her future generation to become one. I want to surround my life today of meaningful deeds so that, it will be her trail of learning while growing up. I want her to see that there is so much in the world. I will open her to lots of opportunity so that she will have perception of what real life is even at her very young age. That said, I want her to grasp good manners, humility..and having us as parent to show that, needs to become the best role model for her.<br />
<br />
I am a mom at work because I want to have deep understanding of hardships. Because I want to make my parents proud. I want to make my daughter proud. And I want my husband to see me as her greatest confidant through out our family's journey. Because I want to support my family and the family of my own. I once dreamed of becoming the breadwinner of our family..and every now and then, I'm still praying for that dream to come true.<br />
<br />
Baby, in time you can already read this... I want you to know that I will do everything to take care of you. I will be a hands on mom in-spite me working. We will have our special, and unforgettable moments together with your daddy. But please understand that our pursuing a career is part of us desiring deep within our hearts, that we want to give only the best for you. I will be forever grateful to have you appreciate the decisions we've made from the moment we have learned about your life beginning in my womb. Mommy and daddy loves you so much, and we are not going to ask you to become like us..instead...we pray that you will become the better version of ourselves :)<br />
<br />
Cheers to all working mommies!<br />
<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">awesome colleagues </span><i class="_4-k1 img sp_Yu7FL4-TAPR sx_aae0f5" style="background-color: white; background-image: url(https://fbstatic-a.akamaihd.net/rsrc.php/v2/yw/r/eL3qDNkpYJw.png); background-position: -85px -885px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; color: #37404e; display: inline-block; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 16px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left; vertical-align: -3px; width: 16px;"></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"> </span><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/officemates" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">#officemates</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">♥</span></div>
<br />queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-46089477506995042052014-05-19T23:56:00.000-07:002014-05-19T23:58:35.139-07:00MY HAUL'S BENEFITLast friday, I decided to spoil myself of a few stuff from Watson. Since I went out early from work, and since Jp would be late to come home, and since it was sweltering hot even at 5:30 in the afternoon, I thought of heading to mall first. Other reasons would be, because I wanted to waste some time away from home. And because I am in need of some pampering essentials for my skin and hair caused of too much humidity nowadays.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJ-MoX_LfpYSoprJlU-AfSE2drLA2wcabSD1klbimarthlIQEoSg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJ-MoX_LfpYSoprJlU-AfSE2drLA2wcabSD1klbimarthlIQEoSg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo grab from: <a class="irc_hl irc_hol" data-ved="0CAQQjB0" href="http://ph.makeupandbeauty.com/watsons-beauty-buffet-charcoal-and-cypress-oil-facial-mask/" style="background-color: #222222; color: #7d7d7d; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;">ph.makeupandbeauty.com</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
First purchase was my favorite facial masks from Watson. Because of the summer heat, my skin becomes so flaky and oily. And my usual facial soap and cream routine simply couldn't help. You can have two pieces for only 79 pesos, so cheap you wouldn't second guess purchasing this essentials. And it's worth a buy because it instantly gives your skin a smooth, glow, lighter feeling. It takes only 20 minutes to reach the desired effect. Even Jp (my husband) enjoy using this because it also reduces oil in the skin as well as whitening it with continuous use. A good purchase for a very affordable price isn't it? ;)<br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lifestrong.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Buy-2-Take-1-may.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://lifestrong.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Buy-2-Take-1-may.jpg" height="150" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo grab from: <a class="irc_hl irc_hol" data-ved="0CAQQjB0" href="http://lifestrong.com.ph/buy-2-take-1-promo-extended-until-april-23-2014/" style="background-color: #222222; color: #7d7d7d; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;">lifestrong.com.ph</span></a></td></tr>
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Next, Hairfix treatment that costs only 50+ pesos than can be used 3-4 times per pack! not bad at all right? There are two available choices to choose from,one is to get hair smooth and shiny, and the other one is to boost the color treated hair. Since I have a hair dyed last december 2013, I chose the latter. Although it really boost again the color of my hair, it then dries a little bit which is for me, a disadvantage. But you can use hot oil as a remedy to this treatment. And that's why my next purchase is very valuable for me.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo grab from: google<br />
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I was looking for small sachet of hair treatment so I don't have to purchase a big set that I usually buy. And while my eyes were wandering about every hair treatment at the hair care department of watson, I suddenly saw the small pack of leave on treatment. Palty Tsubaki Camellia Oil hair treatment--that promises a strong, shiny and frizz free hair after every use. You just have to apply an ample amount from one sachet after you towel dry your hair and voila! It would bring shine into your dull hair :) it only costs me 50+ pesos and it has 3 sachets in every pack.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.localbanya.com/small/8968Johnson-Baby-Soap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.localbanya.com/small/8968Johnson-Baby-Soap.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="background-color: #222222; color: #7d7d7d; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;"><a class="irc_hl irc_hol" data-ved="0CAQQjB0" href="http://www.localbanya.com/product-details/Baby-Care/Baby-Soaps---Shampoos-/Baby-Moist-Soap/31-a" style="background-color: #222222; color: #7d7d7d; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;">www.localbanya.com</a><br /></span></td></tr>
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And for my body, I only purchased my all time favorite daily body soap which is the johnson's baby in white. I like it because it's just so mild-- and that's it! Nothing special hehe.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfhi-SxzG2X2MQqcXOJHC5kIt5aWyxq7Y0383m01G4WcEIlcjTL_OVEKbblk88FrqhmWAoC8drBhX0-UYtu3akiM8tU5pOlJKn_TPf0YZtf_xeLVsMm2RmWljwObn04lrj_I9nANJCli8/s640/blogger-image--1763511228.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfhi-SxzG2X2MQqcXOJHC5kIt5aWyxq7Y0383m01G4WcEIlcjTL_OVEKbblk88FrqhmWAoC8drBhX0-UYtu3akiM8tU5pOlJKn_TPf0YZtf_xeLVsMm2RmWljwObn04lrj_I9nANJCli8/s640/blogger-image--1763511228.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a class="irc_hl irc_hol" data-ved="0CAQQjB0" href="http://pinksandnotebooks.blogspot.com/2014/04/joining-bandwagon-myra-e-bb-cream.html" style="background-color: #222222; color: #7d7d7d; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;">pinksandnotebooks.blogspot.com</span></a></td></tr>
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I also purchased the newly released Myra E bb cream in Ivory that costs me 99 pesos, cheap but too small compared to the first released one. As for my first application, it gives the desired effect which is to smooth-en and to moisturize your skin, but definitely not to help cover up blemishes. So you must still use your favorite spot corrector, concealer or foundation. But of course if you have a blemish free skin, then you can freely skip all these :).<br />
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So..that's all about my pampering mantra. My good and beneficial haul that only costs me an amount of 200+ pesos. Not bad right?? At least I've indulged myself of things that are useful to me and also to my husband. It's like saving one day of my daily allowance at work hehe!<br />
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queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-88841742784847456552014-05-14T00:56:00.001-07:002014-05-14T01:25:10.736-07:00A LETTER TO MY BABYHi baby!<br />
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Though my O.B gave me a 90% assurance that you are a girl, I still can't get use to it because of fear we might have another misconception of your little patootie down there! But nonetheless, I will love you. I can't wait to feel your first real kick! I can't wait to touch your hands, knees, and feet on top of my belly. Mommy's so ecstatic at the thought of you making free styles inside her womb.<br />
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How many times did I whisper that, you are my greatest gift and my greatest miracle? Will you know and will you feel how much mommy loves to give everything for you?<br />
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Now I really know what unconditional love means. You made me realize it now. You made me a better person. You made me persevere for the best. You made me appreciate my parents more. You made me responsible, matured, and stable in settling down.<br />
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You made my life on earth feels like heaven!<br />
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You are my life. My flesh, my blood, and my heart is yours too. We are the mere sample of unity. Physically, emotionally and mentally we are one. And mommy only wants to be the best person she can be, because she believes you will be the kind of person that she is.<br />
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Do you know that daddy is also trying to be the best father that he could be for his first little baby? You wanna know why? Then wait for my next letter my little angel. This surely won't be the last.<br />
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Lovingly,<br />
Mommy Queeniequeeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-83737578913724389822014-03-20T23:12:00.001-07:002014-03-20T23:31:05.241-07:00LIFE CHANGING PREGNANCYThings that happens when you're pregnant:<br />
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These list that I've made is based on my personal daily encounter on pregnancy. And since I'm a first time expecting mommuh, I think it will help a lot of soon- to- be mother to find someone they can relate with :)so here, let's get started shall we??<br />
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First Month<br />
1. I'm still feeling sexy, my tummy still flat and I just felt oh so normal<br />
2. Came a week or two after my first OB visit to confirm my pregnancy, first symptoms of morning sickness took in. "very sensitive to smell of food and food. I only eat what I only crave for because that's how I find satisfaction over a day and to feel lesser morning sickness for a good 24 hours.<br />
3. I feel a bit pain in my pelvic area (when I was not yet aware that I'm pregnant) and thought it's because I would have my monthly period already. And since I'm a massage spa addict, I took advantage of having a very hard whole body massage not knowing it might be risky! huhu<br />
4. I got a slight, faint 2 distinct lines on pregnancy test. I have tried two PT's so as to make sure I'm not having a mistake. And up to now, seeing that two distinct lines... "priceless".<br />
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2nd Month<br />
1. Upset stomach almost everyday.<br />
2. GERD.<br />
3. Mild headache that if left untreated, worsened to the point I wish to die. (i was exaggerating with the die part of course. that was just a feeling hehe)<br />
4. Always mad at JP the hubby.<br />
5. Super hot and short tempered.<br />
6. Urge to puke almost every minute of everyday (the most frustrating phase of my preggy symptoms so far).<br />
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Going Third Month<br />
1. Not so picky on food anymore, but I'm beginning to be a voracious eater. I could finish 2 plates of rice and overflowing ulam!<br />
2. Urge to puke almost every minute of everyday (the most frustrating phase of my preggy symptoms so far)<br />
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3. Very emotional. I easily cry with almost everything. From crying over Disney movies, not getting enough sleep, getting up so early, work, when my cravings for food was not met, to crying over a mosquito bite! Really EMO-TIO-NAL it is...</div>
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4. Small bump begins to show up :)</div>
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5. Sleep woes.</div>
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6. Muscle pain.</div>
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7. Moderate headache.</div>
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So far, those mentioned above were my personal symptoms I had encounter. These really makes me frustrated, but I'm still glad that I could still work full time for 5 days and could manage my frustration over morning sickness. I can't put into words what I really feel towards my pregnancy. It just gives me so much reason to teach myself on how to become a grown person.<br />
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There are few unusual things that I was not doing during my pre-pregnancy life. I never thought I would have love for cooking. I never thought I would take this one seriously haha. I had been so lazy to give it a try before because I thought, it was not my forte. It's something that I don't have to do because I was schooling, and now because I am working. My mind set becomes like this.. I study, I work, I pursue career, I provide..and kitchen is where I am not the queen! But now that mind set is slowly changing. I think, it takes getting pregnant to realized such things, that marriage is embracing all the possible and also the impossible things in our lives. Things that are important so that you will become a better person before your baby is born. Self-control as well is one of the thing I want to master. Loosen up a bit to give way on my husband's lead role of our family (i'm a bit superior when it comes to making a decision for us and its something I want to improve myself so as not to corrupt that opportunity for my husband). Anger management so that we can avoid unnecessary marital woes/fight and arguments in front of our child. Giving importance to privacy, so our child will know how to respect personal concerns and issues of the family. Openness, so that our child will have healthy support system and full security coming from his/her parents. Be adventurous, to teach our child that there is so much out there in store for him/her through out his/her journey. Humility, so that he/she will know when and where to stand with his/her own principles in life, to understand others rather than trying to be understood by others, and for him/her to learn how to admit mistakes when he/she have to. Positive-ness. so that he/she will have a positive outlook towards life and self pity will not be entertained. More love, so that with everything that he/she must do, love will always lead him/her to a Godly direction. And the most important of all, God centered- so that he/she will not just fear God, but also he/she will have big faith and respect to our almighty.<br />
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I also realized, that becoming a parent would demand so much from God just to protect their child. And I know, this is only the beginning of new experiences. But for now, I will let each day unfold for us. I will savor each moment of gladness. I will let God form our lives :)<br />
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Happy Friday!queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-64962916789873422502014-03-13T20:28:00.000-07:002014-03-13T20:28:03.819-07:00THANK YOU<span style="background-color: white; color: dimgrey; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdhx0wsIlRp5722YQTAweiijN4wM-TG-jJhBcu9nYigL2r5YCmttJWYsZv4kNMAsUAduH0afZvGQ1dMTkgbJRk5so3rRoU-wsYcaz0dyxR6utMWbnn6z8rvIA4JKTTyo8AmEsf8sW2dymO/s1600/A-kind-heart-is-a-fountain-of-gladness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdhx0wsIlRp5722YQTAweiijN4wM-TG-jJhBcu9nYigL2r5YCmttJWYsZv4kNMAsUAduH0afZvGQ1dMTkgbJRk5so3rRoU-wsYcaz0dyxR6utMWbnn6z8rvIA4JKTTyo8AmEsf8sW2dymO/s1600/A-kind-heart-is-a-fountain-of-gladness.jpg" height="404" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credits: <a class="_sg irc_hol" data-ved="0CAUQjB0" href="http://www.quoteswave.com/picture-quotes/98628" style="background-color: #222222; color: #660099; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="color: #7d7d7d; margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-overflow: ellipsis;">www.quoteswave.com</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Thank you </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">For the gift of giving and receiving love</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">For the majestic beauty of nature</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the ability to make someone smile</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For all the people who have shown me kindness</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the support and encouragement of friends and family</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For they have lift my spirits and made me fly</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you</span></div>
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</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the talents I have been given</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For my health and home</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the delightful pleasure of a shared meal</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the glory of music and art</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the eyes and ears that receive it</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For the gift that is Life</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Gratitude is the antidote to self pity</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Being Thankful is recognizing our blessings</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Everyday I wake up, I'd make sure that before anything else, before kissing my beau good morning, I'd thank God for another day of blessing :) Have a blessed friday everyone!</span></div>
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queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-44027927463013595612014-03-12T02:01:00.001-07:002014-03-12T02:05:05.696-07:00A BETTER TOMORROWI'm getting closer to 10 weeks and I can't wait to see my baby's new development! As per my reviews on websites and my book "what to expect when you're expecting", my baby had met complete development of vital organs :) how can't I be so excited having that thought right?? And I think somehow my pregnancy symptoms has subsided except for the urge to puke. Sleepiness is still there but it's more bearable now than before. My food consumption is starting to double up! And I think, as I'm looking on my old photos (way back 2010 to present) my chubby cheeks, my getting bigger waist, and my protruding belly makes me realize that, oohh! Life really could changed! :) Im far from that young lady who only cares for herself. Now I am always thinking of the others, like my parents, siblings, my husband, my baby on the way, and my close and immediate relatives. I always make sure that I find free time spending with them. Before, I've always allotted time for friends on weekends, although its not bad to catch up with your good ol' friends, I think its better that we know now our limitations, that all of us are getting older and soon we may not have the chance to ever see our loved ones in our family again.<br />
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When I got married, and especially when I got pregnant, I have come to realized a lot of things regarding my parents. That moment when you want to become the best mother for your child and what are the ways to make that happen. When my parents were calling at me to vent out worries about my siblings or any heart aches towards them, I could now empathized with them. When they got angry among anyone of us, I just love them more and could understand them better now. Maybe I am not molded perfectly as a grown individual, but something that I am sure of is, I've become a kind of person who does understand imperfection, who accept mistakes in the past, and accepting changes in her life and being happy with it.</div>
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You know when you're down on the right path. There's no physical proof to prove it. But that, innermost positivity and confidence at where you are now just makes you believe, you're doing good man, keep going and sure you'll find a way of hope for a better tomorrow :)</div>
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Happy Wednesday!<br />
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Off from work <3 p=""></3></div>
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queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-87856895247119527502014-03-10T01:34:00.001-07:002014-03-10T01:45:06.208-07:00MONDAY- AND I HAVE LEARNED OF SOMETHINGIts a head start of the week! hello monday :) hello every hardworking people in the world! obviously my mood is a bit up today compared last week. I think it's because I've had enough rest and my 2 days weekend had been so productive! Just like the old times, since Jp and I visited in my parents home at binangonan, may usual routine naturally took place. I would wake up early in the morning, prepare our breakfast, do the household tasks while playing a good music that rhymes with my mood. Also, I have read my good'ol books that also would depend on the genre I prefer for the time being. One thing that is extraordinary maybe was my suicidal approach to cooking haha! Well for starters, I've never been into cooking since I was young and not even today that I am married. But since my sister wasn't home early yesterday (sunday) I had no choice but to cook for us. Not that I would let two manly guy (my handsome brotha' and super hot husband) to do the honor, its an insult to the world of women (or so I thought??)!!!! So I was forced to cook then hehe. It also felt good because my family were too productive as well to helped me out with lots of household tasks to do so we've finished everything before 12 noon that gave me ample time to prepare for our terrible lunch meal! woah! At the very least, my husband, little brothah', and his girlfriend were very supportive so I got my strength and courage to really try it out (cooking)! And so I had started..dun!dun!dun!dun!<br />
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First off, it was just a simple sweet and sour fish lol! But dang the slicing was a bit frustrating for a newbie like me, I thought slicing carrots would be just smooth, but my carrots was too hard I thought I would cut off my fingers with it. Then came the onion that stings my eyes and made me look like I'm crying the whole time I was slicing it. Even the ginger, I had no idea how to slice that one! or if its being sliced for that matter hehe! Even the very simple slicing of belle pepper i couldn't perfect! I swear to heaven, I really am a terrible cook! I was also worried that I might burn my rice, thank God it didn't! Well with all the the frustrating preparation, I think somehow they liked it :) Or I don't know, they almost eat all of it! My husband swore it' was indeed MASARAP :D, and my brother said, it already tasted good! His gf didn't comment but I thought I saw her got another slice of fish and more sauce hah! and as for me, well I couldn't judge my own cooking, but I think it tasted fine! So hooray! And because I felt so inspired afterwards, I might as well continue my training and be the queen of the kitchen for my beau ahihihi sweet! Well I think it will really depends in my mood, and more importantly the place where to cook. I think since I was at my childhood family home, the comfort and inspiration it gives me differs from living in our apartment before and now, living with jp's parents. I knew that in my parents house, I have my space everywhere. I knew already that the place would accept me and nobody would mind what I might going to do and I can go in every places my heart desire. It's like having wide, enough room to breathe and to reflect with your current situation. A place with no eyes to judge, no mouth to criticize, and no time to scoop in all the things you do in your life. Our home is a place of a refuge for me.<br />
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Apart from comfortable stay at home, I also went alone to sm mall to shop and wander around. I first look at the cosmetic department then to clothing department but something tells me, I don't need any of this stuff for now. I got too much from last shopping galore I've made last december 2013 and I want to buy something that will pay me benefits for longer period of time. So after window shopping for women stuff, I've decided to go look around at national bookstore, and there, my eyes stuck with the good books I drool to read :). It took me almost 30 minutes to picked what I really wanted. And since cecelia ahern is one of my favorite novelty author, I ran through the pile of her books and have read every synopsis that will interest me. Unfortunately there is two that I haven't yet read that interest me so much! The book entitled, "the gift" and "one hundred names". Both have stolen my interest but then I had to choose since I couldn't buy both because Jp would be upset, one book a month I think wouldn't bother him but having two in a row is just a luxury he couldn't afford tolerating I guess hehe. And so I chose to get the "one hundred names", because as for the story, it have gotten my emotional appetite. It's about a woman who had a dying best friend that owns a magazine company where in she works full time, and a woman who worked for a show that exposed stories based on facts that eventually led into her dying career, and what's worst, being accused of libel case and now have an impending hearing at court. A lot of press pressed her regarding the mistake she had made with one person's reputation due to her wreckless, heartless, scoop of stories framed up by two women and had it exposed through an international television. of course a lot of people now look at her in disgust, people she works for and work with don't trust her anymore, her reputation and image suddenly go down out of control and she don't know what to do anymore. her boyfriend also left her, and she's getting so many threats almost everyday when she gets home. One mistake, and the world hated her. She don't know what to do. She don't know where to start over. She don't know where she'd rather be. She's lost and she lost her best friend. Yet in the brink of her hopeless career, she found out something which her best friend saved for her. A list of one hundred names she don't know and is yet to find. Her best friend want her to write a piece of story and use these names she had written only for her. What kitty does not now, the people whom she is yet to meet will changer her life.<br />
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So there, seemed like I've made my own synopsis for the book haha! Since Jp were playing basketball with our college buddies at the time, I took advantage of a little more "Me Time" at starbucks. My husband were actually asking me to come with him along with our college buddies, but I insisted, I wanted to date myself alone. Just like the old times y'know ;). So there, good thing that I chose a book rather than a cosmetics/clothes because I had a reasonable excuse to stay in starbucks for a good one hour. And yet, I stayed for two and a half hour because..the book was perfectly good for my taste!!! I couldn't stop reading, but then I realized it's getting late, and Jp would be around soon because we'd also planned to watch a movie together after our separate errands that afternoon. I guess having your enough space and time alone sparks more excitement in our relationship, because when we're together again after a haul of productiveness in a day, there's a lot of new experiences we could share with and to each other. Somehow, this "me time" were barely happening now with jp and I since we've become so accustomed at being together after work and being at home on weekends to make it up to sleep, and after church, it's either we lunch out and go home or we just go home straight and have our lunch there. But now, I think we both need to relive our individual selves and still practice independence among ourselves so that, with our without ones presence, we could still be an effective individual making effective goal, and getting effective outcomes. And since we both know that our time together as a couple will start to change 7 months from now when our baby angel is already born, we really need this "me time" more than anything else. We need to prepare ourselves, and with that preparation comes an acceptance of giving each of us time to reflect with our lives not just a couple but also as a single person to ourselves. There will be lots of taking in to make. And for us to be a better mother and a better father to our soon to be child, we must become a better person for ourselves first. So yeah enough with my ramblings! And after I've consumed almost 3 hours reading, Jp gave me a ring to say he's on his way to catch up with me. And there we ate our dinner, we talked about my day and his day, and we watched "300, the rise of an empire" that is one of Jp's most awaited movie. And then we went home.<br />
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Came morning monday and I awoke full of enthusiasm to start the day. I'm beaming of gladness and I think it came from a well rested weekend I've just had! I thank God for the brand new day he has given me because this is all that I need to get back on track :). As most of you know, I've been complaining almost everyday when heading for work because I felt terrible due to my preggy hormones attack. Fatigue ruins my motivation to wake up every morning for work. When at work I get easily stressed regardless of how loaded I am for the whole day. What my husband does not know is that, every night I would silently talk to God about my shortcomings, how hard my situation is that it makes me cry almost every time I would talk it out to God, and how badly I want to change my mental and emotional stand in certain part of my life. And God is so so great he answered me by giving me a peaceful yet joyful weekend. Saturday and sunday really freshened up my dull mood and now I am ready to grind for the whole week! yay!<br />
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And before I end this post, let me give you my personal note:<br />
Mental note<br />
"Productivity is the key to prosperity."<br />
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Spiritual note<br />
(grabbed by:<a href="http://peterwade.com/articles/wade/attitude.shtml" target="_blank">peterwade</a>)<br />
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Attitude -- Your Key to Prosperity</h1>
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by Peter Wade</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">G</span><span class="content13" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">od's prosperity plan for you, His child, is in the form of principles or laws. To prosper is "to go forward hopefully, to flourish, succeed, thrive". In the Old Testament the word means "to push forward", hence to attain one's goals, and in the New Testament it means "to be helped along your way".<br /> There are mental laws of prosperity -- and it is in this field that most writers occupy themselves. "Change your thinking and you can change your world" is an oft-quoted basic law. But you need to go beyond that. There are also spiritual laws of prosperity that God has given in His Word. These principles have been acted upon through the centuries and their application produces a better, firmer prosperity than one approached solely from the mental angle.<br /> All prosperity is first spiritual then material. Two verses come immediately to mind: "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful" (Joshua 1:8 NIV), and also the words of Jesus, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things [see verse 31] will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).<br /> Prosperity solely from a mental angle is a "sand-based" philosophy, for the moment a person slips mentally he or she fails materially as well. Also, a mental-based prosperity is competitive by nature. It can be illustrated by a sales person competing in the marketplace, where only a certain quantity of people can buy a particular product.<br /> God has for you a secure, spiritual-based prosperity plan which is creative and non-competitive, for God supplies your every need and that of all His children. Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (NIV). It says nothing about your share of the market. It says nothing about the inflation rate, bank interest, or levels of taxation. It says, simply and plainly, "My God will meet [supply]..." -- how much? "... <i>all </i>your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."<br /> The first key to God's prosperity plan is that you must change your <i>attitude.</i> This is part of the mental laws of prosperity, yet with plenty of scriptural backing, and in succeeding chapters I will add to this the spiritual laws of prosperity. You must change your attitude in four areas if you are to become prosperous, if you are to follow the example of the millionaires of the Bible and of the prosperous Jesus.</span><br />
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Poverty -- a Christian virtue?</h2>
<span class="content13" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">First, you must change your attitude towards poverty. Is poverty a Christian virtue or is it a common vice? Many of us have been brought up in the strong tradition that poverty is a Christian virtue, and you must deal with this matter. It will be difficult for you to demonstrate prosperity if you leave in your consciousness the thought, "I will not be a good Christian if I'm rich". With this attitude, if you want to be a good Christian and make it to heaven, you'd better hold back and at least stay middle-class -- you don't want to be at the bottom!<br /> There is a psychology of poverty, and it's interesting when you start reading what some researchers are discovering. I have read that poverty is basically the root of the majority of the world's problems in one way or another. Poverty is the root of starvation. Poverty is the root cause of many wars. If poverty is named as the cause of these problems, I simply ask, How can it be a Christian virtue? Is the Bible so confused that it teaches it is a virtue to be poor, while being poor is the root cause of most problems? It doesn't make sense, does it?<br /> You must change your attitude to this deep-seated feeling you have that it is right and Christian to be poor. The first part of the commission of Jesus was this: "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor..." (Luke 4:18). Later Jesus said, "The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want..." (Mark 14:7). He did not commend people for being poor, but He helped them and encouraged them. A good example of a Bible person who was not poor is Abraham in the Old Testament. He was called "God's friend" (James 2:23), and was "very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold" (Genesis 13:2).<br /> How can poor people break out of the cycle of poverty? The Bible gives a number of examples. In I Kings 17:7-16 is the record of the widow of Zarephath, who during a famine gave all the food and water she had to Elijah, the man of God, and received a year's supply of flour and oil. In Mark 12:41-44 is the record of the giving of a widow, who placed all she had in the temple treasury. The result of her giving is not recorded, but I'm convinced she received a harvest of the things she needed.<br /> In II Corinthians 8:1-7 is the record of the giving of the churches of Macedonia, who in a time of trial and extreme poverty gave to help believers in other places. They first gave themselves to the Lord and then pleaded to be allowed to take part "in this grace of giving" (verses 4,7).<br /> A Christian magazine some while ago made prosperity the theme for one issue. There was first an article on prosperity in which the author came out strongly for the Biblical principles that I stand for. However, in order to give a balanced view on this subject, the editor then printed an article promoting the opposing view. In fairness to the author of the second article (I no longer have his name), he said that there is an extreme, and I recognise this.<br /> He quoted one American evangelist who said that "God doesn't want you in that itty-bitty Toyota, he wants you in a great big Cadillac". The author said that the problem with this particular theory is that it doesn't work everywhere, and that "you tend to forget that you are blessed with a land where the cattle are fair, fat and easy to catch, while the cattle in less fortunate countries are lean, mean and seldom seen!"<br /> Further in the article he states that the whole approach smacks of "formula Christianity", popularised in recent years by an avalanche of "how-to" books. He writes, "It seems that whenever someone discovers a principle that works in a particular way for him, he deduces that that principle will work in an identical way for everyone and he writes a book about it. These books are generally helpful to some people but a source of spiritual frustration to others who just can't understand why their lives are not happy and perfect and prosperous the way author so-and-so says his life is."<br /> Well, I believe in formula Christianity, for I became a Christian by following a formula (Romans 10:9) and I do not hide my belief. Part of the problem with the unhappy people he mentioned is simply that they have been taught to beg to a capricious God.<br /> Those who believe in a capricious God say that you must pray and seek God's will and guidance on every matter, and if you have obeyed God, and if He wills, then He will help you out. But if He doesn't, then make the best of it because when you get to heaven it's going to be glorious up there. It's pie-in-the-sky Christianity, and as far as the present is concerned, very much a hit-and-miss affair. I can well understand how people under that kind of teaching are frustrated, because they never know when they're going to find God in the right mood; they never know whether the "sin" of kicking the cat is going to affect their prosperity.<br /> God is a God of principles. A principle in the natural world works every time it is applied. Take two parts of hydrogen and one part of oxygen and you will get water every time. Whenever you apply the principle you get the results. Whenever you apply the principle of gravity to an object -- when you let it go -- it will fall. It's a principle, and it doesn't matter whether that morning I kicked the cat or patted the dog, the principle always works.<br /> If your problem is frustration because you are not seeing results, remember that God's principles are not subject to change. The Bible says very clearly, "I the Lord do not change..." (Malachi 3:6). The book of James says He "does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:17). You can rely on God. He does not change His mind every other minute about you. He wants the best for you and He laid down the principles for you to have the best. Check out your application of the principle, but don't blame God! God is a God of principle, and His principles are recorded in the Bible.<br /> You must change your attitude to poverty. Look up every reference to the poor and to poverty in the Bible, and you will conclude it is a common vice not a Christian virtue. "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread" (Psalm 37:25).</span><br />
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Prosperity -- is it God-given?</h2>
<span class="content13" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">You must also change your attitude towards prosperity. While you recognise that God wants good things for you, the question is, When? I believe He wants them for you right now. This is not pie-in-the-sky religion or steak-on-your-plate-while-you-wait religion, but a relationship that works on Monday morning in the business world as well as on Sunday morning in church.<br /> God specifically mentions attitudes in II Corinthians 9:7-8, and it is one of the most important passages regarding His prosperity plan that I could quote. "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." God has prosperity in abundance for you, and the way you enjoy it is to change your attitude.<br /> The word "heart" in verse 7 is used to indicate the seat and centre of the personal life, the mind. When you apply the principle of giving and receiving, you can miss the result if you apply it with a wrong attitude. This verse clearly says that when you give you should not do it reluctantly, or as other translations have it, not sorrowfully; that is, not as if you feel you are losing something.<br /> God said it, so it's important for us to sit up and take notice. It is not just the fact that an opportunity came last Sunday morning to put something in the offering plate, or during the week to give to someone in need, or to give your time to some cause. It's not just that, it is your attitude that motivated the act that counts. You could give $10,000 and miss out on the result if your attitude was one of reluctance or sorrow. Your attitude is important.<br /> Then verse 7 says not to give under compulsion, that is, of necessity. You must watch this also. It is giving of necessity when on Friday you walk through my hometown of Adelaide, on what is called Badge Day, and someone puts a badge under your nose to encourage you to give to some charity. Many people place a dollar in the tin and stick the badge on their clothes -- why? Because they want to support that charity? Not always, but often because they do not want anyone else to hassle them when they are walking down the street. That is giving of necessity, under compulsion.<br /> You face the same danger when you go to church, and the usher passes an offering plate or bag. I read of one church in Scotland where they placed the offering container right in front of the pulpit. The people would come out row by row, while the preacher stood there, and put their offering in the bowl. Would you stay seated? Would you put in only a small coin? That is giving under compulsion, of necessity. It is the wrong attitude to giving. In fact, they called it a "heave" offering, based on an Old Testament passage (Exodus 29:27). The attitude was, "Lord, I can't get out of this, so here it is."<br /> Never give because you have to give. A church should never take an offering because they need money. It could exist without your money. A church should make a time for the sacrament of giving because its task is to train people to operate God's principles. Your attitude when you give and your attitude between the point of giving and when you receive (see Chapter 4) is very important to your prosperity.<br /> So what attitude should you have? II Corinthians 9:7 says to not give reluctantly or under compulsion. On the positive side, it states that "God loves a cheerful giver" -- one who can smile as he gives, one who feels happy about what he is doing when he gives.<br /> One writer has well said that you should be just as happy at the moment of giving as you are when you receive something. And we all are happy when we receive something -- especially if it's something nice, or something we have always wanted. That is the same attitude you should have the moment that you give. The Greek word translated "cheerful" is a word the English language has borrowed -- <i>hilaros</i> -- "God loves a hilarious giver." Now perhaps you did not hear anybody breaking up with laughter when the offering was taken last Sunday, so maybe that's why I have to share this truth. It did happen to me once. One morning in a church I pastored in Taperoo, South Australia, a man saw the impact of this verse and he laughed out loud as he gave. I've also been in churches where the congregation have clapped profusely at the announcement that an offering was going to be received.<br /> "God loves a hilarious giver." So your attitude when you give is important. If you go around saying, "Okay, I'm going to give because Peter Wade says it's a principle, and I need the result, so..." What are you going to get? Nothing.<br /> I have met many Christians who tithed, that is, they gave a straight 10% of all their income, to a local church all their lives, and were still poor by most standards. In spite of having given large amounts, there were few results. Why? The scripture is true. "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." So there must be something wrong with their attitude. If you want to enjoy God's prosperity plan, you must work on your attitude to prosperity, and especially to giving, the way you get into God's flow of affluence. I'll share more about this in the next chapter.</span><br />
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Money -- the root of all evil?</h2>
<span class="content13" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">There's another attitude that you must change. Some people quote I Timothy 6:10 in the same way as the popular song, "Money is the root of all evil..." But is that what the verse really says? In my Bible, I Timothy 6:10 reads, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil..."<br /> Your attitude to money must change. Many Christians are scared of money. They seem scared to have money or to talk about it. The verse says the love of money is a root of all evil. It has been well suggested that the lack of money is a root of all evil too. Mike Todd, the Hollywood actor and director, is reported to have said, "It's not a sin to be poor, it's just mighty inconvenient at times."<br /> "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs" (I Timothy 6:10). Money is neither moral nor immoral. To use the correct term, money is amoral. To be moral is to be good and pure and right and to take notice of the self-respect of all people. Immoral is the opposite of the normally accepted moral standards. But to be amoral is to be neither on one side nor the other. The computer on which I am writing this book is amoral -- it's neither good nor bad, it's just a computer. It has no emotions, it cannot sin or do good, it just sits there and accepts the words I type. Likewise, money is amoral.<br /> Money has been defined as a symbol of the stored wealth of a nation. I believe money is more than that: it is a symbol of God's great abundance that is available to you. It is a symbol of the truth that you live in an opulent universe. It does not matter if in my pocket I have Australian dollars, American dollars, or Monopoly money -- they are still just symbols. And yet most people have taken those symbols and made a god of them, and judge their lives by the total value of their net assets, as if the one with the most toys wins!<br /> The scripture says "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil". It does not say that money is evil. Money is a necessary item in civilised nations and you must change your attitude to it. You must see that it is something that is "made round to go round", as I was told when I was a child. Nowadays they say it's "made flat to stack" -- I don't believe that. Stack it up and you are not operating God's principle. "In circulation there is life; in hoarding there is only stagnation and loss", says author Mary MacDougall.<br /> I worked once with a Christian friend who had been a missionary, and he asked me one time what I was going to be teaching about at a camp. I told him the theme for the camp was "The Prosperous Jesus". He looked at me, and said, "But He didn't have any possessions." Well, he had read his Bible constantly but had missed the fact that Jesus had the best clothes of that time. However, I told him that having possessions is not necessarily a sign of prosperity. You cannot judge prosperity by the possessions you have. If you do, you are in trouble! "... A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15).<br /> Prosperity is not based on how much you have. Prosperity is greater and deeper than that. Prosperity is better described as a state of mind, an attitude based on God's promises. It is faith in God's unfailing supply regardless of any evidence to the contrary.<br /> Change your attitude about money. Money is not evil, and money is not good. Money is amoral, a symbol of God's abundance that you use to obtain items that you need.</span><br />
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Giving -- a productive experience?</h2>
<span class="content13" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">There is one further change of attitude necessary for God's prosperity plan, and this is made clear in the statement of Jesus quoted in Acts 20:35. Paul is recorded as saying, "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work you must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: `It is more blessed to give than to receive'." You must change your attitude and take on board the truth that Jesus stated: "It is more blessed to give than to receive."<br /> Why is it more blessed to give? Because it is more productive. If you receive ten dollars as a gift from some person, what you have is the ten dollars. But to the person who gave it to you as they applied God's principle, it could be worth a hundred dollars or a thousand dollars.<br /> It is more blessed to give because it is more productive; as you give you are putting into operation a principle. Luke 6:38 says, "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." But nothing happens until you give. So it is more blessed, more productive, to give than to receive.<br /> As a child I was not taught this. Everything that my parents did for me, and they were good parents, impressed upon me that receiving was a good experience. At Christmas, our family had big believing. Instead of putting a stocking out for Father Christmas, we always had a pillow case near the chimney. We put the pillow case out and expected it to be loaded with exciting things. And yes, we were excited when we received our presents. Now we are adults and must change our thinking.<br /> "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35). Who said it? Jesus. Did He know what He was talking about? To be sure! The statement is not recorded in the Gospels, yet it's a powerful statement. "It is more blessed to give than to receive", because it is more productive.</span><br />
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Change your attitude</h2>
<span class="content13" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">Your attitude in four areas must change if you are to enjoy God's prosperity plan. You must change your attitude about<i>poverty </i>. Do not follow the tradition of it being a Christian virtue, but rather see it as it is, a common vice. You must change your attitude to <i>prosperity</i>, and recognise that it is not measured by your possessions. Your attitude when you apply God's principles makes the difference. You must change your attitude to <i>money</i>, and see it as amoral, a symbol of God's opulent universe. And finally you must change your attitude to <i>giving</i>, for it is more productive to give than to receive.<br /> Charles Swindoll wrote: "How and why you give is of far greater significance to God than what you give. Attitude and motive are always more important than amount" <i>(The Grace Awakening).</i><br /> Start the process of changing your attitude in these four areas, and get ready to see prosperity flowing in your life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-22830586268976094312014-03-06T21:59:00.001-08:002014-03-06T21:59:13.447-08:00FIRST TRIToday was a surprising day because I have thought of writing again on my blog. It had been so long since the last time I have posted something and I really didn't know how to start again hehe. Or maybe it's only because I am very overwhelmed of this morning sickness thing that does not only happens every morning but stays 24/7 in my system. To be all honest, I am waking each day miserable. I didn't expect that I would become a mess physically and emotionally caused of my pregnancy. I don't want to blame my pregnancy of course, but I can't help but to feel so down because I feel so heavy everyday, I feel bloated all the time, I feel too much acids forming in my stomach and its causing me to puke, and now that I turned 8 weeks (2 months) I'm suffering from headache for almost 2 days now. I'm having a hard time coping up with this rambling symptoms and it really affects my disposition in daily living :(. I know it is because of my crazy hormones that changed drastically because there is a little bean like baby growing so fast inside my belly. I am very looking forward to this motherhood thing that I have turned up to since I have learned about my pregnancy. But I have to admit how hard it is to me. I have to share my negative feelings towards this because I know it will help release all my predicaments and worries in pregnancy. Even at work, everyday is a torture waking up having that bitter taste and feeling in my throat and growling stomach that makes me vomit. And sometimes, I cant get enough comfort from my support system because i terribly feel so helpless for myself. I wish it will go away after my first trimester, or better yet, it will go away earlier than expected. They say first trimester is the most sensitive stage of pregnancy because it compensates for the growth and development the embryo (my future baby) needs. I hope its true for the most, because I might decide to do something related work just to ease this temporary symptoms I am experiencing now. As much as possible, i dont want to leave my work, because i want it here, and the convenience of distance from our house to office is just so hard to give up especially when you are already a mommy. And especially if you're getting enough salary and benefits from the company you're already working for. Maybe a little sacrifice seems too hard to grasp these days, but my only motivation is this love for my child to give him/her the best of everything in this world and that includes giving her proper foods that is good for his/her health, comfortable stuff for sleeping, bathing, clothes and most importantly, to have proper savings for my child. My husband has work and is currently waiting for his new contract in a renowned hospital with promise of nice compensation in salary and benefits that will ease lots of financial burden to our growing family and will give room for saving up. And knowing my being a working wife and a mommy to be is a big help too because it will surely ease all the expenses we have for 1 month and his salary (that's more better than mine hehe) will be saved for our baby's future and other extra expenses we might have a long the way.<br />
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Now that I am pregnant. I have come to realized how a love of a mother to her child can move mountains. They make the most sacrifices from the very beginning to keep their baby live healthy from womb to their first glimpse of the outside world. Since the day I have learned that I am pregnant, I keep thinking and missing my mother so much. I also wonder what she's thinking when she realized she's pregnant with her four children.<br />
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Despite my hang overs in pregnancy, I am still so amazed of how my baby develops in my womb. I am a nurse yes, but I still perceive my pregnancy a magic, a miracle that no scientific knowings can express how stunned I am to know I am now bearing a child. I really can't believe I am capable to conceive a baby! hihi!<br />
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There's so much to share about being pregnant. If my time and energy permits, I will continue to be more active in my blog site. I know it's been quite a while now. Well I could share some that I have written on my diary but I think I have jotted too personal and too private stories for any one to read hehe. Oh well let's see! I don't want to promise to keep up my posts just like the old times, I think it's a bit hard already for a married, working, and a mother to be woman. But I will try :) after all, it eases away a lot of negativity in me whenever I write something.<br />
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And of course TGIF and God Bless!!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-85038491678612731482013-12-25T18:02:00.003-08:002013-12-25T18:02:45.821-08:00MERRY CHRISTMAS!Hi everyone! Merry Merry Christmas! I am loving this week since I could take a nap anytime I want! I could also sleep longer than usual. And I could do whatever I want without that guilt feeling! There were times I would think of things like, its better to stay home for the rest of my life, just be a full time house wife to jp, and create my own business. wohooo! Perfect! But then my inner practical side just says "no, challenge yourself to become better to the things that God blessed you to do". Holidays, always gives me that inner peace, that sometimes I confused to freedom to stay that way anytime I want! But life isn't about how easy you can turn things the way you desire it. It's how you push your self to exceed what you have achieved already. 2013, have had a lot of pushing through limits that I needed to take on. And I am glad that it's ending and here I am still thriving for what life throws at me. I am thinking of a lot of things that I can somehow do differently. Do more mature roles in the life of many, and do something that will gain me a productive life. What I'm saying is too broad, but I think as long as we are not stepping our foot on the 1st day of 2014, it will be too hard to give specifics. I'd rather surprise myself, than list down things that I and people will expect me to do and then disappoint everybody for not having it happened. But I have one real goal for me and jp for the coming year :) It's best that I keep that goal to myself and make myself proud for achieving it! I have one whole year to make it happen. This will challenge me more to better my work, be more industrious, be more motivated and let's see if that fruit of labor will fall into me :)<br />
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I had a blast with my family in our very simple celebration of Christmas! We've cooked a few yum foodies for noche buena, took pictures for mementos and fb and instagram purposes haha, and Jp championed the prayer when twelve mid night took place. There was no extra ordinary, but that just gave me so many things to look back and that gave me reason to praise our God.<br />
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Some of my planned things to do this holiday was not successfully happened, but it okay since I get to spent more time to some of my friends here in green ridge and especially to my husband. We decided to keep every expenditures this holiday in minimum because we don't want to leave our pocket bankrupt when we meet 2014! And hey before I forget! JP's birthday will be on January 1, 2013! So While I am shouting a happy new year to everyone, I will also be shouting a happy happy birthday to my dearest asawa!! I love you honey :) I think that age of yours is really asking for an offspring haha. Let's talk about that later. We know that God will always provide for what our heart desires. Just keep the faith it will come.<br />
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Again, a merry merry christmas to all!!!queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1726602065556868874.post-81721316928183245722013-12-16T22:23:00.001-08:002013-12-17T00:00:26.945-08:00EXCITED FOR HOLIDAY!<div style="text-align: left;">
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<a href="http://shop.eddiecatz.com/images/eddiecatz/santa-claus-clip-art-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://shop.eddiecatz.com/images/eddiecatz/santa-claus-clip-art-9.jpg" width="320" /></a>I've been feeling grumpy these past few days even though, I think I 'd already make it up to sleep yesterday. Oh well, one whole night wouldn't really compensate with the so many sleepless nights I've had when december came in. I've become so restless, physically and psychologically and that even if my body is so exhausted, I couldn't just force myself to drift off sleep. It's been so hard for me, especially that there's so many things in my mind. It's all about the expenses which really quite draining literally and figuratively! December is actually the best month of the year, because people have all the means to excuse themselves to spend so much than necessary! Well it's quite foolish to do so, but what all can we do if we are getting older and having so much god children, nieces, and nephews and their monster mother and father who, since september, were asking you to don't forget their kid's christmas presents!!! haha! I can not blame them though, christmas is for all, but most especially for kiddies right? Time like this are the moment you wish you were still a child and can sing a christmas carol around your neighborhood and ask for aginaldo on 25th of christmas :) I started doing all these when I was what? maybe since I was born right? haha, well I remembered starting when I was 6 years old and continues until I found out it's quite shameful already because I had been on my second job. haha see how long before I even realized that I had to stop and give chance to others whose younger than me???? totally young and selfish my peg wehehehe! Well to be honest, it was not all about money that I have made it a career for what? 17 years! It was more of a tradition and a bonding with my girl friends in the village where I lived the longest of my life before I moved into my own corner with my loving hubby (p.s. we are not in good terms today,I left him at home earlier for work while he was taking a shower, i was that pissed at him!haha). It had been the best years of my life. I had been a lucky or more to say,a blessed gal to experience such childhood fun life with my so long, childhood friends, that even today I keep in touch with. I also remember our family and relatives' christmas reunion and the excitement I had when they would call out all of us chikitings and asked to fall in line for the gift giving in cash or in kind, or sometimes they would give us both (of course that's the best part haha). I could also remember the times wherein you began decorating your house of garlands, parol,and different shades of christmas lights for more christmasy feeling :). This part were done by my mom, but since she's now working abroad, my papa, sister and I were the ones to tasked this job! Nevermind king, because our youngest brother is always out of somewhere we dont know lol.<br />
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Every year, we rather celebrate our christmas all the same, or we have it all different for another year. Well as for me, I will celebrate it differently since, it will be my first ever christmas with Jp as husband and wife. We dont have plans yet on how are we going to spend our time together, but we already reserved 24th and 25th day for our family, and maybe the 26th will be our time to date each other out somewhere nice, simple and sweet (hmm saan kaya yun? haha) 27th and onwards will be for the christmas and new year invitation parties of good ol' friends from different groups of my so called friendly life (LOL) and relatives reunion party :).These coming weeks will probably be very hectic! oh I almost forgot, 20th to 22nd will be my bonding day with my best friend myloves :) if anyone of you remember my goodie pretty myloves, she's actually a cousin of my past guy relationship. It's a total blessing that we remain super close and keep loving each other despite the ironic circumstances. And hey! We are all happy of how our lives turned out now, so maybe that helped a lot to still have this kind of relationship, added that I have a very supportive, understanding, and very secured husband with me :) How can I be so blessed!<br />
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Sure my everyday on the coming weeks will be busy, but im sure going to allot time to rest and sleep longer to wake up in 2014 fresh and beautiful! :D I'm going to start putting on my daily planner for next year yay! what is guna be look like??? hihi<br />
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I wish everybody a fruitful holiday and new year!! Let's count our blessings and spend this holiday, the way we have planned it, don't hold back just to please people who don't bring you good, instead, focus yourself towards people who wish you all the goodness in life :) the ones who supports you no matter what.<br />
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And more importantly, thank our God almighty for he gave us so much blessing in 2013. He's been so good, although there were rough moments, crashing tragedies (e.g typhoon yolanda, the PDAF scam and accidents), and heart breaking personal experiences in our lives. I believe that it will only toughen us Filipino to thrive harder and to lift up our worries, fears and concerns that hold us back and just be thankful because it will leave us so many lessons in which we can use to be a proactive individual this coming 2014!queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03712255552097824255noreply@blogger.com