2.27.2013

ITS ONES DISCRETION

copied from google
Hi fellas! It's been long since the last blog I made. I am home now in Binangonan, and here is the only place I can really put my thoughts in order. Just 2 weeks ago, valentines date. Jp announced his proposal of a lifetime commitment to me. Although I am full aware of our plans to get married in no time, it still surprised me when he get the small box from his bag and offered me with a tensed hands and body the engagement ring, that I thought was just a gift and nothing else that I joked him about it. But as he clarified himself and his intentions, it all became crystal clear on me. He wants to get married for real, and I feel the same. And everything, abruptly falls into places. Majority of our friends and family we're surprised, and most of them were supportive and happy for me. My parents of course was at first in disbelief, but that was only for a shortlived. They asked us if we're sure about it, and just waiting for the right moment to meet and talk in person our parents on both sides. Everything were exciting and I'm starting to enlist all what I need for the planning and computing the budget. I also started day dreaming what would be my wedding like. I'm so looking forward to it. But of course, there are people that seemed not happy or not yet ready to grasp my made decision. Some were saying its too early to decide, in which I and Jp done talking it out. Of course this obvious kind of concerns, we tried to address it in best way we can. Yes,I get that I am young, but not too young that it would ruin my better future, I graduated college, I can live independently, can make a living, and trying to help in my own little way my family. I am young, but old enough to make mature decisions, and I think I deserve some benefit of the doubt from being misunderstood. Some were saying, I will bloom more if I would decide to stay single a little longer. I don't think Jp is in plan of making me "losyang". I can become blooming even in married life and I am confident with that. I can make plans for myself as an individual, still, maybe not the same as when someone is single but I think having someone to support you all the way to your plans and dreams and passions for the future will just make you even more blooming and glowing. My life in future won't stop unjustly. Not here, not in marriage. As long as we have God as a center of our relationship. As long as we respect and communicate our feelings and our shortcoming as husband and wife, I know we can make it through. Some were saying, its best to put career first and have my good earnings all only for myself before marrying my fiance. Don't that sound a tad-bit selfish?? Yes I get their point, that it will be necessary for me to share my saving with my partner since we vowed to be united as one. But it don't mean that Jp is in any intentions of casting out my family when they need support from us,or from me for that matter. He has too much respect for my family, and he loves them as much as he love his family. Some were saying my decision would be strictly dependent on my husband to be. I know, I know, his voice on my plans would be vital unlike others but I don't think it's fair to judge ahead whatever it is we are about to impart as do's and don'ts on our soon to be married life. I believe and trust Jp. My family trust him well. He is a one in a million boyfriend who showed and express big respect towards me and it makes me sad that some were misjudging us on every angle now of our lives just because of our decision in which, our family approved and blessed without contorting negatives.

Sometimes, because we see our own life in a very different way from others, we tend to become self righteous. We began seeing others decisions an ultimate mistake because we're trying to picture out our life on that person's decision. Like we can't imagine ourselves falling into a trap of marriage since we don't want it for ourselves. Maybe these people don't need to say a thing if its just something that discourages someones decisions made by prayers. Maybe these people could have just prayed for us and for the betterment of the path we chose to take. It really makes me sad just this morning, to found out this opinions of others. But that's life, I cant control other people's reaction but I can control my own action ;) I just need to voice out how bad I felt. I will  put it aside and suppress this negating words I heard so as not to corrupt my excitement for planning. I am happy and ready. My loved ones are happy and supportive of me. And that's what I all need. I always pray and uplift it all to God and I know he's in me with this one! I know I will cross bumpy roads through out planning but I promised to God that I would be strong and put a lot of faith that everything will happen perfectly smooth in his name Amen! :) God Bless us all fellas! Always see the silver lining in the midst of your darkness. Ciao
A glimpse of my ring :)

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