LOVE AND ITS WORTH

Last night, I was lurking to watch movies at the apartment. I can't feel anything but overwhelming contentment at that night. I think I am so much inlove of my life now that I really do not feel anything negative around me. I decided to re watch the love movies that has a different stories. First was the 'Unofficially yours' followed by 'No Other Woman'. It both, were quite a movie. Both about love. Both at the wrong time. Both wanted nothing but complete and absolute happiness to find someone they truly love and to have feelings be mutual. And yet both had  flaws, two different stories that signifies the same reasons. The same meanings. The same situations. We all both want to be loved solely. But in certain part of our lives, we somewhat screw up and find love the wrong ways, at the wrong time. Worst part is, when we knew how wrong it was and yet, we want it so bad. So bad that we would give all only for the sake of love. So bad that even risking our own happiness and other peoples happiness don't count anymore the strong feelings we have for a person. Sometimes, when love is too strong and empowering us so much, it only feels like everything seems so right. That every thing we are dying to do for the love our lives just seems to be the only, magically right. Sometimes we even think that, we are the victims of too much love. Giving all that we've had. Sacrificing our life from friends, work, career, and our dreams for the person we thought worth the fight.

But when that someone so dearly in our lives is gone. And we are all alone negating all about we've done and sacrificed for the one we love so truly. That's time we realized that the love we thought was unselfish and full of humility, were all gone wrong. That too much love for someone is a sinful selfishness. That sacrificing our own priorities in life is somewhat the mere proof that we are only loving nobody but ourselves. We blame people that they made our life miserable. We blame outside influence why we get hurt. We think that life is just not fair. That God did take side of others lives than of us.

As I watched the movie...there was only thing that seemed to be so bright. That we loved, because we decided to love. That we were in this certain level of our lives because we chose to step up. Strong emotions got us weary, curiosity boosted, and so our desire to why not give it a try. We wouldn't be loving someone if we did not command our heart and mind to set up the way it does. We can never blame somebody of our misery. We love because we want it. We delivered ourselves through it. It's not the gushing water from ocean that pushes as close to the people we dear and hurt us on the verge of our love for them. Nor the wind that forced us to fly and falls down to someone that would just caused us pain. It's only us. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to play life safe and never step up for something new. We can choose not to love. We can choose whom we will love. We can choose anything we want. And a lesson that I now keeping in mind is this; all our chosen path has its own carrying consequences. It has all the pros and cons in it. We can choose to love and with that, we also are choosing to get hurt. We can choose to keep still and never allow someone to get in us, and yet we are like, accepting that we will forever be alone, having what if's hanging in our minds.

As I typed this, I am thinking of what my life would have been if not about my chosen decisions way back? If  I chose not to risk. How will I define love now? If not about my mistakes on choosing whom to love and risking the border of my being. How would I know how it feels to be devastated? It's as if, I am very grateful that love once..had been my disease. Because it encompasses now what I am. I am molded not of what I've learned from books I read, neither from what love movies have taught me nor the stories of other people that surrounds me. I learned all my lessons about life, particularly in love, perhaps because I was too brave to risk everything. That I had my now and never set of mind. I tell myself now 'if everything on my past had gone smoothly and right, will I be having a chance to meet my guy now?' :) And as time goes by, I  pride myself saying.. am living my life peacefully and lovingly. Just the mere presence of his life on mine fills so much of what I had been missing since my life before him.  I have never been this peaceful. And overwhelming satisfaction almost suffocates me.

My heart is at its happy place (as what I have said thousand of times). It so easy, uncomplicated and yet, its filled of excitement and enthusiasm for the relationship. We never or we seldom talk about our past. Though we have passed that times on our early stages of relationship. We often look forward to new, fresh starts. And we always love to plan and look for things we dreamed to have. And by looking means, we canvass, we sort out plans, we set aside savings and we drop unimportant things that we think will hinder everything we had in mind ahead of us :) I know I sound so good to be true, but thats the way it is! That's how my relationship goes with JP and I am so happy being with him.We have our flaws together. We argue, we do fight, we have small petty tampuhan. And we get jealous sometimes. But I know that is only a part of us being together. Being real and true. And most especially. Joyful :)

QueenieV

my ultimate dream :)

I can't wait to make my dream come true <3 p="p">

Soon... ... .

SKIN CARE HAUL

My Skin Care Haul for the week!

Hi guys! Good afternoon :) Again, I'm doing this little sneaking here at my office area hehe. Really don't have a time at night since all I want to do at that moment was to read, rest then sleep. I feel like a crap today, and I presumed it has something to do with my period. My face and eyes seemed so heavy like I have a baggage carrying on it. It's so puffy and my stomach felt so full with air. My body really is on its poorest state now. So I think, I have to make it up with a healthy life style. Mostly, when I have my period, I would eat more of fruits and veggies (Watery foods) so to make sure my skin would still look supple and my body wold feel so light. But now that I suddenly had a changed of life style, even my food habit (since I started working) and that I am staying in an apartment, My food choices became less and less healthy. This is because, I preferred buying instant and ready to eat food instead of buying groceries and do some cooking that I find so tiring and time consuming. So here, I'm suffering the consequences of my chosen path lol. I always feel drained, and I get tired easily. I'm becoming moody every single day. My skin seems to lost its natural glow. And it made me feel ugly inside and out. And it kind of reflecting on my attitude towards JP, who most of time, the one encountering my shortcomings. I'm just so glad that he is so patient and understanding of my moody condition hehe!

And so after analyzing deeply the reason behind this physical and psychological ugliness that I'm suffering (lol). I decided to make a little step by step restoration of what I think I had lost for a months of irresponsible   laziness to becoming healthy.

Just this week, I decided to meet up with Jp at SM mall since I needed to buy him a shaving blade for his face. And I also wanted to make a short time window shopping, so I can start making a list of my god sons/daughters gift. Then, I stumbled across watsons store since it was the first that you would see right after you enter SM taytay coming from tikling. If you may ask, watsons is one of my most favorite spot to come in every time I am at the mall area. Second to the book store. Maybe some of you would be surprised to realized that clothes and dresses really comes on my last list of girly staples. I only have 3 spots I always wanted to stand by: Book Store. Watsons. Cosmetics Store. Clothes is on the least of my list to be precised :) So anyway, going back to my real agenda here... I decided to look around watsons, and my feet brought me to the skin care area. I looked for my usual soap Dove White Bar instead of getting again one of whitening bar that only made my skin rough and dry. I did not even get any whiter! Next, I looked for good and deep hydrating lotion, and I stumbled across buying the Nivea Intensive Moisture Milk Lotion. And for the first time, I bought a Face and Body waxing from Epilin, for my armpit. Since its less hassle to use, and it  whitens the underarm area from continuous usage because it has the capacity to remove the dead skin cells on it. I am still thinking if I should try this on my legs, it will be very time consuming for me, especially that I only have 1 day off. I also bought a new pressed powder from Shawill (i got the darkest shade since they're only available with light ones) and I chose shawill brand first because, it is affordable, I also tried it on my arm's skin and it feels so smooth and light compared to my usual maybelline clear smooth pressed powder.

So that's it! I only purchased a little for my skin care because of budget constraint. I still have lots to buy next time and I dont want to spend all my money for my non- sense beauty dilemmas haha! Moreover, it is better to start beautifying oneself from deep within, by eating healthier and freshly cooked foods and ones attitude towards life. Keeping your self happy is the best key to young, youthful glow. But sometimes cosmetology can make it faster right?? AMININ!!! God Bless us all!