My life has its up side down, I don't know where to start whenever I wanted to talk about life. But I know, I just got to do it to have a quiet and peaceful mind. I'm going wild and crazy, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is so hard to define what I feel in one word, but I will try. I'm going to use the word "ambivalent" which is a medical term for emotional hype of a pregnant woman. I feel contented, I am looking forward to what is in store for me next year, I am excited for the 2nd baby on the way, but, but, I am worried, anxious, scared. Even so, I am exhausted, restless, tired. So many responsibilities, so many errands that needs to be done. There is so much in my plate and I don' t know what to do first. I am suffocated by my mind running wild 24/7.
As I type this post, I feel all the physical discomfort of my pregnancy. Nausea, vomiting, dizziness, heartburn/acid reflux, back-pain. These physical discomfort have been leading me to depression sometimes. Feeling all the discomforts while doing all the house hold chores, and working in the office is one hell of a ride. And when people say "its okay", its a normal phase of pregnancy", you will get through it soon" I just really want to punch them in the face. Like yeah, let's see if its okay, and if its normal and if you can patiently wait while painfully experiencing all these and you cannot even exempt yourself from your responsibilities as a wife, a mother and a worker.
I become very anti social. People around me just irritates me so much! All I want is my husband and my daughter.
I need more strength and patience to endure all these discomforts. I hope I can survive another month with all these symptoms. And I really do hope it will be done by 2nd trimester because I cannot take it anymore :(
