These seemingly simple words resonated with me after I read
it. These words are exactly what I must practice towards my husband as we
always look at things differently. We have different habits, different way to
think and to plan. And usually when we try to have an open conversation, it
would end up with a fight, an argument and a misunderstanding.
It makes the house tensed and somehow my mood affects how I treat
my daughter. I hate it when I end up fighting with Jp although he wasn’t really
into fighting. He just says things differently and he just wanted to be honest
on what he truly feels. But some days, I just feel that he’s attacking me with
my belief, and with the way I think.
I would usually say, he is not respecting what I have in
mind, or what I just said, but it was actually me who was judgmental and couldn’t
stand him when he have a different perspective in terms of saving up money,
priorities at home and at work. What and when to buy stuff, about family
and relative relationships, and so on.
I guess it rooted up on seeing the ordinary jp with his
flaws and all. It wasn't visible pre-marriage. It was all love, understanding
and acceptance. But when we got married, especially when tessa was born,
everything has changed! We discovered a lot that we don’t like in each other.
Annoyances such as, how the bathroom looks like after he
takes showers. How he is not putting in a bin his dirty laundry properly, how
he isn’t making the bed after he gets up considering he was the last who wakes
up. His non- initiative to do household chores when I don’t say or command him
to. And then he would feel bad when I nag because he did not do it on time (on
time I mean my personal deadline for him). He also annoys me whenever he would
make lambing but I don’t like the way he’s making it. And the list goes on.
There’s a lot to hate about my husband considering our 3
years of being married. What can come worse than these? What if we are in our
7, 10, 15 years of marriage? Are there more I do not know about him?
I pray today that God will cleanse my heart from so much
annoyance with my husband just because of his negative attributes. And to replace
it with love, care, patience and more accepting attitude. I pray that I will
count more the good traits which he possesses than the bad ones. I pray too that
I won’t get annoyed or irritated when he tries to communicate or share things
with me. I pray that I will see reasons why I love him and reasons to love him even
better! I know that I need to pray for us as we are going to be in the journey
of marriage forever. And since this is our fate, I want to choose happiness
over merely annoyances.
If I love my family, I must love my man equally; our
daughter can see how we treat each other.
So my learning today is to stand for what I believe, but do
not fight for it. Instead, pray to God that we find understanding in the midst
of differences.
