Stand, don’t fight.

These seemingly simple words resonated with me after I read it. These words are exactly what I must practice towards my husband as we always look at things differently. We have different habits, different way to think and to plan. And usually when we try to have an open conversation, it would end up with a fight, an argument and a misunderstanding.

It makes the house tensed and somehow my mood affects how I treat my daughter. I hate it when I end up fighting with Jp although he wasn’t really into fighting. He just says things differently and he just wanted to be honest on what he truly feels. But some days, I just feel that he’s attacking me with my belief, and with the way I think.

I would usually say, he is not respecting what I have in mind, or what I just said, but it was actually me who was judgmental and couldn’t stand him when he have a different perspective in terms of saving up money, priorities at home and at work. What and when to buy stuff, about family and relative relationships, and so on.

I guess it rooted up on seeing the ordinary jp with his flaws and all. It wasn't visible pre-marriage. It was all love, understanding and acceptance. But when we got married, especially when tessa was born, everything has changed! We discovered a lot that we don’t like in each other.

Annoyances such as, how the bathroom looks like after he takes showers. How he is not putting in a bin his dirty laundry properly, how he isn’t making the bed after he gets up considering he was the last who wakes up. His non- initiative to do household chores when I don’t say or command him to. And then he would feel bad when I nag because he did not do it on time (on time I mean my personal deadline for him). He also annoys me whenever he would make lambing but I don’t like the way he’s making it. And the list goes on.

There’s a lot to hate about my husband considering our 3 years of being married. What can come worse than these? What if we are in our 7, 10, 15 years of marriage? Are there more I do not know about him?

I pray today that God will cleanse my heart from so much annoyance with my husband just because of his negative attributes. And to replace it with love, care, patience and more accepting attitude. I pray that I will count more the good traits which he possesses than the bad ones. I pray too that I won’t get annoyed or irritated when he tries to communicate or share things with me. I pray that  I will see reasons why I love him and reasons to love him even better! I know that I need to pray for us as we are going to be in the journey of marriage forever. And since this is our fate, I want to choose happiness over merely annoyances.

If I love my family, I must love my man equally; our daughter can see how we treat each other.

So my learning today is to stand for what I believe, but do not fight for it. Instead, pray to God that we find understanding in the midst of differences.

Relive you my blog

So I've been thinking on bringing back to life this so called online write ups of mine. I know I've been promising myself  to blog again and to never put this in hibernation. But guess what?! I just broke a promise just like when I promised to keep a daily journal and devotional writing! I don't know when did I stop, but surely, when it stopped, my life started to have uncertainties again. I began waking up, going to work, doing errands on weekend, going to church with a blind heart. For first two months of 2017, I could feel how my life has changed by just writing my simple life's stories and by praying every morning to the Lord. Then when it all stopped.. darkness en-galloped me. I was attracted to negative vibes such as, discouragement, quitting, depression, and unsure of what my worth really was.

I was almost there, following the path to discover my purpose, and then I stopped just like that. Why did I stop? I guess the perfect term for what happened was, "complacency". And it hits me badly. I was all happy, and bubbly. I almost had a perfect life with my almost perfect, harmonious relationship with family. We almost had it all. And then I forgot to tell it to the most high. I forgot him in the midst of prosperity and blessedness in my career and family.

When I already had what is seemed to be what I wanted and needed, I stopped calling on him. I thanked him everyday, but that was all it. I don't talk to him anymore, I became lazy waking up in the morning to devote time to communicate with him. To ready myself with a prayer. I forgot him all the way while he was already giving me my dreams.

Aren't we all like these? We pray and pray and devote time to him because we have dreams and aspiration in life? And when we got what we've been wanting all our lives, we may not forget about him, but we forget devoting our precious time for him just because we are so busy enjoying the blessings he gives us. I am not in the position to lecture about blessings and devotions. But I am confidently testifying about how God moved my life when I started praising his name and glorifying him day by day. I found peace, love and certainty in his arms. I was confident, I was so vibrant. Brave. And when I became lazy, everything were suddenly gone. I lost confidence, I lost braveness, I lost love, I lost my faith, I lost all the positiveness that God blessed me with.

Thanks to blogs of Ms. Rica Peralejo, Patty Laurel, and other celebrities who speaks God's wisdom in their blog posts. 

I can also spread love by reliving this blog. A lot will relate, especially the moms with career, and  even the moms who stays home, and also for the single moms. I won't be biased in my sharing, I promise. It will be all about God and his love. Motherhood and its beauty. Life and its challenges. And maybe about my family's travel, simple whereabouts, and a bit of my kakikayan in make ups and clothes hehe!

I can't promise a everyday post. All I can offer is my weekend where I can allot 1 to 2 hours of my time :) I feel released from a prison of no writing! Had to suffer for years of the noise my mind was making everyday. I mean there's a lot to share. But I always stop myself from sharing it. I guess now I won't have excuses! It's a perfect gateway to freedom!