Today was a surprising day because I have thought of writing again on my blog. It had been so long since the last time I have posted something and I really didn't know how to start again hehe. Or maybe it's only because I am very overwhelmed of this morning sickness thing that does not only happens every morning but stays 24/7 in my system. To be all honest, I am waking each day miserable. I didn't expect that I would become a mess physically and emotionally caused of my pregnancy. I don't want to blame my pregnancy of course, but I can't help but to feel so down because I feel so heavy everyday, I feel bloated all the time, I feel too much acids forming in my stomach and its causing me to puke, and now that I turned 8 weeks (2 months) I'm suffering from headache for almost 2 days now. I'm having a hard time coping up with this rambling symptoms and it really affects my disposition in daily living :(. I know it is because of my crazy hormones that changed drastically because there is a little bean like baby growing so fast inside my belly. I am very looking forward to this motherhood thing that I have turned up to since I have learned about my pregnancy. But I have to admit how hard it is to me. I have to share my negative feelings towards this because I know it will help release all my predicaments and worries in pregnancy. Even at work, everyday is a torture waking up having that bitter taste and feeling in my throat and growling stomach that makes me vomit. And sometimes, I cant get enough comfort from my support system because i terribly feel so helpless for myself. I wish it will go away after my first trimester, or better yet, it will go away earlier than expected. They say first trimester is the most sensitive stage of pregnancy because it compensates for the growth and development the embryo (my future baby) needs. I hope its true for the most, because I might decide to do something related work just to ease this temporary symptoms I am experiencing now. As much as possible, i dont want to leave my work, because i want it here, and the convenience of distance from our house to office is just so hard to give up especially when you are already a mommy. And especially if you're getting enough salary and benefits from the company you're already working for. Maybe a little sacrifice seems too hard to grasp these days, but my only motivation is this love for my child to give him/her the best of everything in this world and that includes giving her proper foods that is good for his/her health, comfortable stuff for sleeping, bathing, clothes and most importantly, to have proper savings for my child. My husband has work and is currently waiting for his new contract in a renowned hospital with promise of nice compensation in salary and benefits that will ease lots of financial burden to our growing family and will give room for saving up. And knowing my being a working wife and a mommy to be is a big help too because it will surely ease all the expenses we have for 1 month and his salary (that's more better than mine hehe) will be saved for our baby's future and other extra expenses we might have a long the way.
Now that I am pregnant. I have come to realized how a love of a mother to her child can move mountains. They make the most sacrifices from the very beginning to keep their baby live healthy from womb to their first glimpse of the outside world. Since the day I have learned that I am pregnant, I keep thinking and missing my mother so much. I also wonder what she's thinking when she realized she's pregnant with her four children.
Despite my hang overs in pregnancy, I am still so amazed of how my baby develops in my womb. I am a nurse yes, but I still perceive my pregnancy a magic, a miracle that no scientific knowings can express how stunned I am to know I am now bearing a child. I really can't believe I am capable to conceive a baby! hihi!
There's so much to share about being pregnant. If my time and energy permits, I will continue to be more active in my blog site. I know it's been quite a while now. Well I could share some that I have written on my diary but I think I have jotted too personal and too private stories for any one to read hehe. Oh well let's see! I don't want to promise to keep up my posts just like the old times, I think it's a bit hard already for a married, working, and a mother to be woman. But I will try :) after all, it eases away a lot of negativity in me whenever I write something.
And of course TGIF and God Bless!!
