HATE LIFE

i hate life
       when it is being held by my thoughts

a destructive thoughts,
a selfish thoughts..
i hate lies, i hate betrayals..
thoughts fools you..when you're out of control!
life is sour, life is bitter, when your thoughts taste that way..
some people loves you, some don't, some tried.
thoughts full of doubts brought by past mistake in life.
thoughts trying to make foolishness out of you.
thoughts against your body, against your heart against your will.

i don't know for sure what's gotten in my mind to simply wrote it on my paper, and think that it might not be so mean of me if i put it on my blog. it was some kind of foolishness when i think deep, it was so tiring, your body is moving your eyes is reading,, and yet your mind doesn't cooperate..it was some how has its own way to escape when it didn't like what it should think, its doesn't cooperate when i tried to, i guess i was crazy though haha..but i hate it, it affects my day.. i hate it when i didn't want to think of something that might irritate me for some reason but..my mind really does want negative vibes!can i buy a new brain?the one that could easily controlled?haah!

i wish tomorrow will be another day, mmm..no i wish it will in anyhow,,,a different day!at least my mind wants to leave some baggage in it so that in the morning when i wake up, i wouldn't feel tired..at the very least i wouldn't have to dreamed of, of  what i was thinking the whole day until night and until the new morning comes!at least maybe that way it will make my day different from the past.
I need to unwind though, i guess i would need sometime alone, in a place that no one will ever disturb me, so that i am free to think out loud like i don't need to care much of my surroundings because i know no one could even read my thoughts but me. maybe it would work to make my body, my heart and my mind to move at the same time,, at the same pace.

do anyone out there could relate on me??if yes..maybe you're some kind of help..haha
but i am serious, maybe a needed someone who could understand me, who could empathize with me..

mmm i guess i was just having a hormonal imbalances lol!haha
it's 11 30pm, I should sleep but i don't feel liking it going in my bed.but hmm i think i need to say goodnight here guys, maybe tomorrow it will be a different story to tell =) i hope a happy one, not any more those that confuses me??mmm i think thats the good term to for that?...or maybe not exactly

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS

Watch your thoughts: They become your words.
Watch your words: They become your actions.
Watch your actions: They become your habits.
Watch your habits: They become your character.
Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.

THESE MADE MY DAY

THESE MADE MY DAY

bella: what is that?

eduard: nothing...

bella: it doesn't look like nothing.

(eduard's expression was casual; he seemed determined to blow it off)

eduard: well i didn't know if you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and i wondered if you would still want to do ride your bike anyway. it sounded like it something that you enjoyed. i thought

 i could go with you, if you wished.

( i stared at the beautiful machine. beside it, my bike looked like a broken tricycle. i felt a sudden wave of sadness when i realized that this was not a bad analogy for way i probably looked next to eduard).

bella: i wouldn't be able to keep it up with you..

eduard: i'd keep paced on you bella.

bella: that wouldn't be much fun for you.

eduard:of course i would if we were together

bella: i bit my lip and imagined it for a moment...

ohh crap!i was again reading eclipse because it will be showing on June 30 and i am excited to watch it already..i have been waiting for this since last year when i finished all the 4 books of stephanie meyer, it brought me interest in making a comparison between movie and books~ i love the way i disappointed myself (LOL) when the movie doesn't get it completely in detailed, well not literally detailed but those important scenes that i think should be included in the movies to make it more alive and realistic!hahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!
and i couldn't resist feeling gleeful especially when eduard say those sweet and eternal word of his love for bella, i wish my Bf is that sweet, but well he's sweet but in a very different way..and i obviously knew why.. ..because my bf's not a vampire haha!

and so much for that to start my new story, i had a great day these past few days, because at last i got a chance to get out and enjoy myself outside..which were making me happy,maybe exaggerating but i think i was giggling haha!

lauren and hannah( my bf's cousins) and i had so much fun watching the PBB big night live at ynares sports complex..we really had a great time and we're so excited to see james personally!we also exicted to see the other abs- cbn stars..here are some taken pics we have =)

here were our tickets =) the three of us..excitedly took a pics before giving these to guards~

those people  are strangers to us, they're the supporters of ivan and fretzie love team..and we( the 3 of us) we're fake haha..just to get the free tickets we needed to get inside of course =) but we get in them easily and they really believe that we are one of them hahaha!mean girls..

ahh that one with us (on the left picture beside lauren at the right side ) is Kat a.k.a ashley.. classmate of lauren @ fatima university..but i guess she's disgusted on that girl for some reasons that i just witnessed when the ashley girl was around our group lol!so mean girls again!!!!!!!!!!!haha

these was taken when we were already inside the sports complex..waiting for the big night to start! it was so crowded and people and all the different supporters were exchanging shouts and cheers for their bet!

but us??still sitting pretty, waiting for the chance to cheer up our bet JAMES and RYAN!!!!haha

then the big 6 were already announced and that..james was the big winner so that was great right?..and ryan was the 2nd placer so not bad for the night really =)

but i didn't enjoyed it much for i was there in the middle of the happenings..suffering from severe head ache,i couldn't cheered up my bet because the more i moved and talked the more i feel like vomiting..AND i didn't wanted to caused that stinking scene!

sure enough it was fun..with friends around,exchanging thoughts and sharing excitements about the big night..happy to be bonded again with lauren and hannah..it was an unplanned meeting, but it was really a great day and night for us..specially for that 2 girl i was with haha!

END........................................................................!

sunday morning!still feeling tired but needed to get up..
needed to get ready..we're going to my uncle's condo!i was excited but also felt so exhausted because i didn't get enough sleep..
1 hour after.. .
and i was ready i dressed up and then waited for us to leave..taking a shower made me feel alive..but it worn off easily when when we were on our way in makati. i was listening to my ipod, i tuned it down so it doesn't hurt my ear.i was half asleep and then they had stop to have a jingle break lol..i felt really exhausted that all i could think for that moment was..'i wished it's over and then we could go home because i really wanted to take a deep sleep!

and then we were there already,for 1 and a half hour..and we ate and then they chat, and i was bored for a moment,unitl my cousins anne and joy already get there from bulacan.. we talked and laughed,and teased each other and we decided to look around!and yet it made my day =)

hi guys here i go..freshly morning!i decided to used my glasses to hide away my big eye bags!

 the City Land and my uncle's condo!!!!!!

at the pent house..windy but still sunny!so hot!it's a good place to hang out, and make a chatting to your love ones!but i recommend it must be at night so that the sun won't burn you out haha!

inside of my uncle's condo..it was beautiful,it looked so cool and relaxing, the place and the color in it..hope to have my own someday =) but i want it bigger than than this..hmmm someday!i do what i say haha!someday... i hope i could have!

at the lobby...just making some non sense moments with my cousin joy =)

i called...

him: hi baby!

her: hi babe =) musta ka na?

him: i'm okay, just got home i played basket ball..kaw babe musta na?

her: okay lang din po..

him: musta lakad mo kahapon??

her: okay naman po..ayun kainan kwentuhan tapos ayun uwi na..kaw musta maging alone?

him: ok naman sanay na ko =)

(blah blah blah!20 mins.later)

him: babe they're here..

Her: ahh o sige po bye babe..

him: bye babe i love you..wag mo forget hane..

her: "chuckles"..hehe opo babe..sige na, ingat! i love you babe

him: sige bye i love you too

her:bye....

end of my day...at least i heard his voice..in a short minute it completed my day..i miss him so much cant wait for the day he would come home..here for me..his home, in my heart.

these made my day.the people i am with.the way they made me smile and happy. i feel so fierce and gleeful and the same time. i wish to have more fun in life outside..but just me alone..i don't know why.

and yep by the way..ill upload all the pictures of these happenings for those who's asking me to upload it all. just wait me to post it on my FB =) later okay guys I'm too sleepy and tired already..night!wish you all to have a good day and alive personality in the coming morning!muwah!

I'll be back so soon, you won't have time to miss me.Look after my heart. I've left it with you

GOOD MORNING!

MORNING!

but i made it at night haha!because i don't want to stay in front of the computer when the sun is rising..it was so hot here! i might as well go to my  cool room and sleep after all my chores..well i woke up late @ 9:00am  i guess,not so late, but it was still late for me haha because i am used to waking up at early dawn! my parents asked me to wake up already because they have to go to some appointment or a sort of that i think, and no one would go guard our little store lol! so that..i forced myself to wake up even if i didn't feel liking it! and so was my sister..

hi guys,haha i took a picture while i was waiting for my breakfast that i cooked for myself =) uhm correction to yourself queenie, you just heat it up haha! yeah that's barely me, without wearing make up =) of course i just got up from my bed guys..lalalalalallala
5 minutes... .. ..
and i am still waiting haha!
1 minute after.. ..
yahoo!it was done!i could eat at last!

tyanan!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahaha..guys my delicious breakfast..it was just a hotdog and a two bread that i heated up!lol..

lalalalalalal!guys i am ready to eat, look i put a cheese up there =) to make it more yummy and tasty! oh drooling haha! and i partnered it with an orange juice..and done!I'm full already
hmmmm i think there's nothing more interesting guys, i guess even these one doesn't make sense!but i was just bored and that yeah,...ohhh well bye!hahhahahaha!

ME

she is the girl with full of dreams and stories in life..but now she gets bored, she don't know what will make her happy! she loves who she is but now, she hate herself for letting boredom makes her crazy. now she's recreating her life in her blog, how she wish that she could just do recreate her real life as well..so pretty as it is! she loves biking but she never do that again. she loves dancing but she never dance again. she loves reading but she's going crazy on it b'coz it's the only thing she could do for now in her life! and she's afraid that she might get bored with it too and hate it as well..and she don't like hating the books again!she loves them!

she's doing non sense things to make her smile a bit..she's sad all the time b'coz claustrophobia is killing her! she's a jolly girl but now,she can't laugh out loud...LOL haha just exaggerating on that part haha !well she's really bored.bored.bored.BORED! ohh maybe she need some rest, not at her home but in other places, b'coz here, she can't find the peacefulness..

few remaining months of waiting and she will be busy again..maybe now she'd love that, she's really excited to have something new in her life..
well she's aware of how busy other people in her surroundings and outsides..and she's happy for them, she well..she envy them right now..and she said.'love your busy life, love your noisy surroundings but with peaceful mind. never get lazy and hate thy work because that's what makes thy being'.

she adds: 'Life is so short to waist..so be thankful if you are given a chance today to do you responsibility, your obligation and your passion, for later on it would definitely benefit you happiness'

she is ME.....

visit her  blog.... .

A PRAYER FOR STRENGTH

O Lord,
In this time of need, strengthen me. You are my strength and my shield; You are my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I know, Father, that Your eyes go to and fro throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts long for You. The body grows weary, but my hope is in You to renew my strength.
I do not fear, for You are with me.
I am not dismayed or overwhelmed, for You are my God. I know You will strengthen me and help me; that You will uphold me with Your righteous hand. Even as the shadows of illness cover me, I feel the comfort of Your strength, Or Lord.
Amen.

---

O Lord, be gracious unto us; we have waited for thee; be thou their arm every morning our salvation also in the time of trouble.

Isaiah 33:2

MUMBLING

hey people!whats up??still checking out of me?=) yeah don't hide it..i know you are!well its okay, its only a non sense of me, but damn you still care??haaaaah!

oh my..don't want to waste my golden time with you..I'm bored yep, but i will never get the shit of you..
well by the way I'm happy!hahaha..i feel great..my day is great,but boredom is just killing me though!


so here i am again!blogging!blogging!..i am so bored, i wanted to go out and get some fresh air!hooooooooo!i hate it! I'm at home...all the time, reading books i love, eating, taking a nap and then i would get up after 2 hours and will eat some snacks at night i would watched tv then, then dinner time and i would read again and when i feel liking it,i would have my midnight snacks!oh my god i am getting fatter and fatter...everyday =)


lucky me that i did try to exercise 30 minutes every morning, drink some tea, and i ate a lot of fruits, mostly orange, banana, grapes, and apple..all are yummy! and i am the one assigned cleaning the house. so other than my 30 minutes exercise, i could have a chance to warm up my muscle for about one and a half hours! i do the mopping, dust off the decorations and all that,,see! even at home you could have at least two hours of stretching. do this routine everyday so that you will not feel too heavy and too tired of sitting and slouching..doing nothing!

for me, staying at home is not an excuse to be a lazy little crap! if you really want to be more productive and functional, get up on your seat and look around your house, and I'm sure it will need a little help to have a new style..and you can add a little ommph in it!you can make it well organize than before and when your done, take a look at it..........................then smile =)

and yeah..i had finished reading my book 'the host', it was good!i really felt the emotions of the characters..i was excited to finish the few remaining pages last night but, on the other hand i felt sad because it seems like i was also saying good bye to them =( haha

    those were the memories haha, and my snacks while reading is the Tong Garden'nut fruit mix'pretty healthy huh=)

books that i randomly reading on summer time =) and some are my small notebook for some reminders,and my journal diary....and of course my cutie white bugs teddy bear stuff  was a gift from my love!love you!

this is my new Avon glimmer sticks diamonds in twilight sparkle..i think its worth trying, its so cheap,everyone could try it..and its sale and 1 month to pay if you like  it..just give me a call haha!

ahhh!yawned..i need to get some rest now my eyes is tired ...bye people!
bye shit...damn you!hahahahaha

MY LIL WORLD

hey fellas..haaaaaah!at last the computer is all mine now, my dad was here for about the whole day..yeah that's right i was waiting him to finish using it because i wanted to surf the net as well!i had slept for about 20 minutes and when i got up waaaahhhhhhh!my father's still there sitting in front of the computer..and of course i am just his child so i couldn't complain haha =P so while waiting, i did read my new book, and i bet you want to know what is it, doncha worry i got a picture and i will post it here,,,and of course i will post some of the stuff and events i did a few weeks ago..so here take a look! :

so here it is guys the book i am currently reading..it is a good psychological thrilling story..and it is about the story of love, family, friends and betrayals i may add..its a good entertaining story..i so much idolizes the starring character which was named melanie for being a strong human in mind even if she, well,.. actually her body was taken by a soul invader called the"wanderer" .at first they hated each other, but at some times, they've been both in love with one man( jared) and with jamie ( melanie's brother).. ..sounds interesting?=) yeah!!!!

                                                  yup its me lying in bed..killing my eyes =) wink!

so much for the book..let me share some of my moments with my sis....

                    here my sister inces and i..having so much fun with our family date..if you're going to notice we love to wear just the basics, it feels more comfortable and simple yet..we feel beautiful hahaha!

 hell ya'h kune..aren't you feel dizzy or nauseated reading magazines while the engine is running??!!!!whatta!


those are the food we ate @ max restaurant... =)

             uhh lalala sweet tofu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 and my favorite desert!frozen fruit salad..i really love fruit salad, so wherever i am, im looking out for it to be my desert..yummy!

my mom and dad..do i look just them..well my dad??do i look like him?they said we are but there's a difference..he's black............................................................................................................ I'm white lol!
yeah i'm lucky having this kind of family..i have them through thick and thin =) i love them.. =)

CHANGING

hey people..its been a long time since i posted any thing here..got to unwind for a bit and i guess im ready for changes now..like uhmm hmm,oh well like doing my blog a more cheerful one haha yeah i knew it, since i created my blog everything that i would post in here, i was always an emo!and im well =0 i bit of ashamed of myself but of course no regret at all, though haha!

so here guys i surprised you with my pictures in it..hope its kinda beautiful,just feel free to say if not and im going to discard this one haha laugh oh just laugh! folks im happy now =) theres so many things in my life that i should be happy of..well you too!oh yes you! im talking about you haha!kidding guys well just making my first few words to be as happy and as cheerful how it( my blog) should be..

yah know guys im always stuck up here at home just like now, but instead of killing myself in boredom, i read and read as many hours as i could..but yeah, it depends on what books am i reading and i know no one would believe me if i am to say reading my giant books of nursing but surprised surprise!!!i tried...haha,but it doesn't help to kill my boredom...so..im reading other books..i actually had done reading the book that my bf and i had bought 2 months ago i guess (when he;s still here of course,just not to be confuse of the details) it is entitled as 'Love the one you're with'i supposed that all the girls who's on the conflict and complicated relationship with their partners special mention for those who are married, and for those who has a best friend who was or is involved in a complicated situation of love affairs, this book is just freaking book you should have haha:




yeah and im talking about this in which i had shared to my sister and she expectantly like it too..uhm yeah she like it than the most better book i had read..'the DAN BROWN' book... i had finished reading the two of its best selling book ( the Angels and Demons and Da vinci code)it was all great and very entertaining, thrill of the story, the twist of the most awaited event, the cliff hanging ending and all that!how genius dan is???he's really a gifted one!i adore him!

and well i gues it going to end up here for a moment i just have to figure out something in my blog because honestly im having a hard time uploading images here and when i did....urhg!it goes always at the top..and i hate it that way..doncha worry friends,youre gonna love my blogging stuff next time you visit it..make sureyou will feel at home at my very own world of fantasy..fantasy Ive made here on my blog.maybe you want to try, its pretty fun you know especially when you're hearing good comments in it..and when someone talks about you more because of it..

friends there's nothing wrong in blogging..its a good stuff! its like you're creating your own world, own home, just make sure you won't welcome any bad comment and criticism here, because here it must be always perfect, you must always feel you free of your own..because here its all yours.. you are the KING's and QUEEN's!!!!!!!!! fantasy is the very first priority here..thats why i love it! =) so ciao people!.......